Confessions of a libra

Credit: Here

17.06.25

1. How do I know if someone still has an energetic hold on me, even if we haven’t spoken in months?

You will know because they are still part of the sensory data that you are processing. You dream of them often. While you are trying to move on, you find yourself pre-occupied with thoughts of them or images of them. You find yourself wanting to defend them if anyone you love has anything negative to say. You feel weird engaging with other people, or you engage and find yourself comparing – with no one able to match up. I was in limerence with one of my soulmates, and once I finally got over it – dreaming of him as as rare as any other random dream. I also may think about them as a person in my history but I no longer feel emotions attached to the memory. Not unless I was actively trying to channel my younger self.

Energetic attachment. You need to cleanse first. Then cord cut. Cleansing looks like having a bath or shower first. Pray over water that has sea salt (I try and teach things in basic, practical ways but you can get much more intricate and complex with it as time goes) and pour the mixture over yourself. This should do the trick but if you feel there is some energetic residue in the house itself, then smudge the house.

You do not need to use White Sage and Palo Santo. You can use; lemongrass or lavender incense, you can ring a bell, some people clap, some people sing etc. In my culture, when you cleanse a house you want to cleanse with windows open, so as to usher the energy out. Once done, if you want to take it an extra step, you can close the windows and doors, while lining each with salt in a straight unbroken line, to keep things from returning into your space.

2. I cut them off, but why do I still feel their presence in my dreams, my body, or my home?

Energetic attachment. You need to cleanse first. Then cord cut. Cleansing looks like having a bath or shower first. Pray over water that has sea salt (I try and teach things in basic, practical ways but you can get much more intricate and complex with it as time goes) and pour the mixture over yourself. This should do the trick but if you feel there is some energetic residue in the house itself, then smudge the house.

You do not need to use White Sage and Palo Santo. You can; lemongrass or lavender incense, you can ring a bell, some people clap, some people sing etc. In my culture, when you cleanse a house you want to cleanse with windows open, so as to usher the energy out. Once done, if you want to take it an extra step, you can close the windows and doors, while lining each with salt in a straight unbroken line, to keep things from returning into your space.

3. Can soul contracts be rewritten or revoked? Or am I doomed to keep learning the same lesson over and over?

Yes, of course. Imagine a universe that was stagnant?!! It just wouldn’t work. You have more autonomy than you think. It is up to you to declare the state in which you want to maintain, or to rebuke those things you no longer accept. Great ways to release old ways of thinking, the more of these you do together the better; journal shadow work questions (you do not have to think of them yourself), cord cutting (can do more than once if needed, release rituals, womb healing, reprogram your subconscious mind through subliminals or mirror work.

You can find guided cord cutting videos on Youtube. Simply put, you sit with your eyes closed. Start with the breath, long breaths to settle in. Then envision a gold cord coming out of you, stretching out, travelling across time and space to your specific person (S.P.). Feel it, see it in your mind’s eye, then envision yourself snipping the cord. You only need to re-do for strongest of bonds. For me in my limerence, I think what I was working through was deeply rooted hence why it took years to sever the connection. I believe it could have also been rooted in my being psychic, so your experience may differ.

Mirror-work is simply you looking in the mirror and affirming yourself. “I am beautiful”, “I have clear skin”, “I am intelligent” etc. You need to look in your own eyes. Even if it takes you heaps of tries. There is neuroscience backing the benefits of affirming yourself. Next, womb healing involves placing your hands on your belly. Some people do it flat, others make an upside down triangle with both hands onto the belly (below belly button, in that sacral region). Start conversing with yourself through your womb. Start by acknowledging the people who have accessed your energy sexually and then apologise for any that you regret or despite or whatever. Do this regularly. Affirm your womb, as you would your face – just without the mirror.

In the end, you will release those patterns. Just let go of expectations with regards to the timeframe of your healing. It is unproductive to expect our healing to work like a project deadline. Healing is non-linear for most people. You are not behind, you are exactly where you need to be.

4. Is it normal to grieve someone I spiritually detached from — even if they hurt me?

Yes. You are grieving the part of yourself that believed in them. The part of yourself that allowed you to dream. It always seems like it is about them, but really it is about you. You are probably deeply sad that someone you loved hurt you. Or that they pulled the rug from underneath you. That’s perfectly valid. But while you heal let me drop a little thought-form for you. Consider how much you saw the person for who they really were, or if you saw your own light reflected in their eyes. If this is an easy question to answer, then you’re good.

5. How do I protect myself from spiritual manipulation after I’ve left?

Cleanse and protect yourself on a regular basis. Even stacking your protection works. Maybe you have regular spiritual baths, wear red ribbon like I am right now, use your crystals, snuff or even just pray for protection. Now that I am more public on several platforms, I cleanse near daily. If you just want general spiritual maintenance, I’d do weekly on a Saturday (Saturn Day). It’s a great day for protection and banishment.

Outside of that, the non-spiritual advice is don’t let anyone suck you back into engaging with them even casually. Don’t eat the person’s food once you’ve left them. Don’t sleep at their house. Make sure they do not have access to your hair, your underwear or anything else they could use for spellwork. You need to have strong boundaries physically AND spiritually. Don’t scrimp out on either.

P.S. While it is common for us to talk about witches and women in this spiritual space, don’t get it mistaken. Men will bind you if they know how. Men can use sex against you spiritually, with intention. Many warlocks tend to trap women through sex. Men are just as interested in spirituality/witchcraft/alchemy that anything you can do, any man can do. Not all dickmatism is created equal. I said what I said.

6. I feel shame for breaking the bond. What if I was the one who seemed too cold, too intense, too much?

If you believe you could be in the wrong, then that’s not reason to reach out and re-establish a bond either. You need to sit with yourself. Too many people like to use others as therapist, and sounding board without first looking within. You’ll only know if you were too cold/intense/too much if you actually allow yourself to be brutally honest about what happened in that relationship. Here’s the questions I would ask myself.

What did the relationship represent? Did the relationship validate toxic loops you’ve had with family or other lovers? Does your shame lie in breaking the bond or having engaged at all? Were you too much or were they not enough? Were you perchance, pulling all the weight with your big, expansive personality? If you were too cold, if this a symptom of self protection? What would you be protecting yourself from? This is how you approach shadow work. Failing this, therapy as I always say.

7. How do I know if this is a spiritual bond or just deep chemistry?

The difference feels pretty visceral in my body. It’s like everything surrounding this person, penetrates deeper than you’ve felt before. There’s an uncanny nature to the way you both think, the way you both align. Soul bonds remain steady in their feeling. It doesn’t burn really hot really quickly. Likely, if you were both attracted to each other, it can be hot but it would remain hot.

My romantic and platonic soul mate bonds have shown me a softer side to my own personality. Where I would have less patience for men’s antics for example, my soulmates have received more grace. And it wasn’t an effort. Ultimately, it is a knowing. How I am describing it could be different from your bond, but the first time you experience a soulmate it is undeniable. Up until my first relationship with someone with a strong soulbond, I thought I knew chemistry and sexual attraction. Then the soulmate essentially pressed dormant buttons I didn’t even know were there. That kind of tectonic shift in your world, is undebatable.

8. What’s the difference between a soulmate, twin flame, karmic, or past-life lover?

Soulmate – I loved when spirit called this the person you get mutual comfort from. Can be romantic, platonic, familial or pets. Shared life lessons, immediate rapport and deep understanding. This love is worth it.

Twinflame – A reflection of yourself. Triggers a deeper spiritual journey and soul evolution. Requires a lot of work on both sides because of the intensity. It’s very push-pull, obsessive vibes, sudden departures when things go left.

Karmic – A connection that brings in karmic debt from past lives. Any issues from past lives like abandonment, control issues or any toxic cycles. Lots of jealousy, trauma bonding or highs and lows.

Past Life Lover – Easy familiarity. There might still be a bit of mystery but you could swear you know or understand them because of something you can’t name. Can be a deep physical attraction. A sense that there is more to be unravelled within you, shared dreams and deep emotional intensity.

9. Can spiritual bonds be one-sided?

No, but one of you can decide to not prioritise the connection or honour the feelings. That’s the beauty of free will. As someone who is a psychic, people will lie to your face that they don’t have feelings for you because of trauma, old programming or control issues. Some people value control over vulnerability which as women in particular, we find to be strange. So, never beg someone to validate the connection you feel. Only your feelings are the currency you need.

10. Why do I feel their emotions or sense when they’re thinking of me?

You have psychically bonded in some way. You might have both fed into it without even knowing. Imagine you’ve made a new friend and you’ve got a little crush on them. You don’t know but they are feeling the same. You feed into these fantasies. Well, you have made a psychic/spiritual agreement and that thins the veil between you. There are two men out there right now who I am not talking to on the daily but I know when they are thinking of me and vice versa. Also, someone who has a past life connection or soulmate connection with you can make it easier to psychically bond. It can deepen it as well.

[ If you have any questions for me to address, add them to the comments below ]