Confessions of a libra

Receive | Credit: Here

11.06.25

Learning how to receive brings balance to every over-giving, underappreciated human out there. For women particularly, receiving should be our baseline because we are already big givers. We didn’t even need social conditioning for that. The problem is, in the modern world many women are working themselves to death for minimal appreciation and approval. In multiple areas of life. It sickens me. Literally. However, while my focus will always be on women, receiving is a gift even men must learn to melt into. When you don’t, it looks like being unable to accept compliments, moments of vulnerability and real help you need because of pride. Receiving wasn’t the crux of my issue, it was hyper-independence.

 Life had in some ways taught me that my needs were easily overlooked. People would have rather placed my emotions in the too-hard-basket instead of learning to communicate with me at my level. As such, I learned that I needed to be my own saviour. While this personal value system began from trauma, it has now transformed into something much more fluid and forgiving. However, in my past I’ve refused help with homework, because I was convinced people would use it as an excuse to de-value my intelligence. I had been stiffed so many times by people who were supposed to be doing things like picking me up and dropping me off that sometimes I would turn down an offer, to punish them.

I knew receiving was a problem because of how often I cried when someone was genuinely nice to me. I still had that moment very recently too (I’m only human). I’ve been through so much excruciating abuse, so much gossip and besmirching of my name – that my soul never knew how to handle these life lines. I can remember every teacher who pulled me aside and told me that they saw beyond my behaviour, to the hurt little girl beneath. I hold each one inside my heart like lighters at a vigil. I had to try incrementally over time, to accept the empathy and care –  even if it was infrequent. I finally reasoned that maybe it wasn’t a matter of the amount but how I show up when the universe does send me a gift. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, isn’t that what they say?

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You cannot attract your desires while believing that you are a thief when you receive good things. You need to reprogram your mind that you are deserving. Your want for comfort, care and ease through other people is sacred and valid. When you allow yourself to receive, it is a sign of nervous system safety and maturity. Nervous system regulation is such an undervalued part of healing. If you are particularly nerdy, learning as much as you can about the nervous system, how it develops with or without trauma and how to restore balance – will feed you so many ways. You are missing out on human connection, and the reprieve that being provided for gives you when you reject help. Life is trying to provide for you, and you have to believe that in your bones.

Working on this wound looks like shadow work questions, mirror work and exposure therapy (practising not turning away life’s blessings to you). Healing is conscious and that sometimes is daunting. We wish someone would look in our hearts and see the little pure hearted inner child – and just bless us with ease. That kind of ease actually comes when we choose ourselves over and over again. Showing up for oneself even when it’s hard. Yes, when we have trauma – learning to do things that are healthy for us can feel almost physically painful. It doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means be tender with yourself along the way. Stop disparaging yourself in your head every time you try and it doesn’t come out the way you wanted it to. Your healing has to parent you in that secret, special way you wish you had been parented.

Gratitude is an important part of being a receptive vessel. You must be thankful for the smallest of mercies. The other day, I wrote a post that was dear to my heart. It roused how much I had felt alone in my reality. I felt like for years I was screaming in a glass box with no one listening and finally I felt like I was outside of it, with everyone else. I went outside, and spoke to my tree friend. I disposed of some offerings for the fae and my ancestors.

In expressing what a big moment this was for me, I felt a rush of energetic support coming from the tree. I was leaning on it, talking and tears started streaming down. I started sobbing, leaning next to this tree like a madwoman. Suddenly, the sun emerged from behind some clouds. Like a fucking movie. But I noticed, so that was enough for me to have gratitude. Which lead to more spillage, you see. In that moment, I didn’t ask myself how it was happening and I didn’t override the experience. I spent about 10 or 15 minutes standing by that tree having a religious experience.

Let people serve you, not because you are better than them but because you are deserving of warmth. There should be no shame softness. Needing has always been sacred. You do not have to bear the weight of the world alone. You are not made for suffering. That was never the plan. Allow yourself to ascend through discomfort. Allow yourself the belief that receiving never takes away from your own competence. You are worthy of ease that never had to be begged for. Notice the little mercies that come whether through other people or through signs from the universe. Receive everything with grace. Let yourself grow into reception. May your shame be a small glimmer in the tapestry of your life. Asé.