Confessions of a libra

The Adjudicator | Credit: Here

[Song to loop: Monster by Paramore ]

23.08.25

5:01am

I’ve been watching. I’ve been growing. I’ve been changing. When the call to turn inward comes, I act first then explain later. For anyone who follows me on my Cosmic Spark YouTube channel, you will know I am in one such sacred break. It only came after producing over a 100 videos so I often have to coach myself through feeling disappointed, with being unable to always sustain the height of creative rhythm that I know I can reach.

Yet for me, to show up as the full force of power that I am, much of that is forged in the quiet. In the dark of night, in the whispers of the Plant Kingdom, and in the animal familiars that stare at me with glowing eyes through my bedroom window. I have been mapping karmic battles I am entangled in, multigenerationally. This iteration of me, is the one other versions of me prayed for. The ones that were sacrificed, overlooked, gaslit and quite possibly killed for their beliefs.

I was born with so many hard aspect to Jupiter. In Astrology, Jupiter is the planet of; luck, expansion, abundance, faith, and philosophy. This means belief isn’t just a personal preference for me. It is a battlefield, a sacrament, the vow in the marrow of my bones. No Jupiter placement explains the architecture of my morality more than Jupiter Square Saturn. To put it simply, this indicates friction between my spiritual faith and practicality (money, systems, other people’s fears). I intrinsically believe we can do more and be more – but we chose not to. That’s how I feel when I look at the state of the world. I judge things through the lens of my morality. If a system has to exist, why can’t it be one rooted in expansion, inclusion and truth?

I am quite willing and ready to sacrifice for my beliefs, instead of betraying my internal code. This makes me particularly dangerous to cults of the religious kind or cults of the systemic kind (professional, political etc). This is why I can and have tolerated slander, in the past. Not because I am incapable of defending myself, but because I can take someone besmirching my name when I know that my truth is quiet but it’s a sleeper agent. And I have the patience of a saint. I have had a friend drop the friendship because the man she had started seeing thought me to be a bad influence. He didn’t know the solid foundation my values and morals are birthed, so I let her pull away.

I knew their relationship wasn’t going to pan out, I don’t think you needed to be a Psychic to come to that conclusion. I could lose my status, I could lose social standing (and I have in more controlled environments), and I would still outlast everyone. I am used to stripping myself to the bare bones, to build abundance. Another aspect of Jupiter Square Saturn – pun intended – is I have had to work twice as hard for my innate wisdom to be taken seriously. If you’re younger than me reading this, thinking you wish you could wield your words the way I do – know it did not come easy. Half the time, people immediately shutdown my talking points. Even later on, when they did realise I was right.

People have never been comfortable with the knowledge I hold. This is why I hated childhood, as I so famously express. It’s not that I didn’t have fun, it’s that when I was being genuine and would drop wisdom – I would be patronised. I knew that one day,  I would be old enough to be taken seriously. Imagine having to be made the Child-Therapist to the adults around you, but no one wanted to actively give you the credit? Essentially childhood to  me was theft of my intellectual property, disenfranchisement, slander… you name it. Now I may not have degrees to prove my wisdom but; I have my unique life experience, my accruing Tertiary accreditations across different industries and my passion for learning.

With this placement, I am not just building a personal philosophy for fun. I am building something structurally sound and built to last. Something that builds on itself. I teach frameworks. I speak with consequence. My vision far expands beyond your wildest imaginations, so I will be drip-feeding you so as to not overwhelm. While I have been away from the blog, I have been rebuilding and revisiting parts of my own architecture. Doing checks and making sure everything is still structurally sound. I realise I have swallowed too many people’s lies, incompetence and softened egos that would never protect me if their lives depended on it.

Growing up, I felt a lot of justice sensitivity. To come into my full Libra Sun, and into my Libra North Node both in the 12th house – I have done this through indirect means. Through surviving systems, through dreams, through daydreams and through illusions. Entering them or unearthing them. I’m now in a part of my life where I can no longer stand the rot around me. I am ready to stand for something with such fierceness, it’ll send ripple waves through the 7 generations back to front. While some people think it’s cute to say things like, ‘I would have been one of the witches they burned’ – I truly think I was no built to live in a world that warps women’s experiences. Especially Black women. You will have to kill me first, before you think you can get away with anything shady around me anymore.

In the past, I have always left it in the hands of my ancestors. I often channelled my rage in other ways, but I let them feel the burden of what was too heavy to carry. To heavy because the first two decades of my life were merely about survival. My 20’s have been about active healing. Now I feel the effects of my intention, and aligned action. Now I don’t need to heal deep dark wounds. I have trialled by fire, faced my own shadow again and again. This is why Lilith walks with me. I have always been able to play the long game, and finally I am taking it upon myself to actively disrupt harmful systems. I claim myself Adjudicator of Spiritual Crimes, Performed in the Physical Plane.

Many ethnic cultures across the world have a very strong belief in karma even if they don’t use that word or the bastardised Western understanding. Essentially they believe in cause and effect. Well, let me tell you that any crimes you commit against others are also spiritual crimes. They have a spiritual cost. This is why many ethnic peoples consult Spiritualists when they see a cascade of negative experiences in their life. They go to enquire who they have wronged, so they can make amends. I may never confront you about your crimes against me, like misquoting me or taking credit for my ideas – but know in the past, my ancestors would have dealt with you anyway. Now I will note it, and plan a counter-action to enforce the balancing of the scales. Call me, The Fulcrum.

My favourite type of subversion is utilising rules made for the optics of safety and inclusion, against the very machine itself. This is how I survived racially-inspired bullying in Australia, it is how I have survived workplaces as well. I will force you to live the values you espouse, if you try to commit crimes against my person. This week has been a personal turning point. Not for anything happening outside of me. It’s been an internal shift into more power, more sovereignty and a righteous need to be The Sword. Excalibur, if you will.

I have talked once about my crying by a tree in the backyard. That tree is one of my little network of tree friends. Well, I went to see her the other day. She’s the one who showed me Spring was coming in early. It was her flowers blooming that I noticed first. Well, when I was speaking to her, I happened to look down. She was already shedding after the bloom. There were a few branches from the very top that had naturally fallen off. I was just about to leave soon, but as I was in the middle of preparing my altar – it felt like she was offering herself for my work. So I accepted graciously, holding the branches intuitively by the stems. Once inside I looked her up and the tree is a Solanum Mauritianum, a part of the Nightshade family sometimes affectionately called Woolly Nightshade.

The term ‘woolly’ makes sense, when you see the thick felt-like coating on the tops of the branches. Solanum Mauritianum, is considered to be an invasive species and is actually poisonous to humans. I don’t encourage anyone just touching it. I believe nature always makes sense, it is our understanding that has to catch up.

As such, I believe this plant grows its branches and flowers only at the very top for a reason. That is a warning sign, but people weren’t listening. Humans struggle with nature having boundaries, but I thrive on it. Now every plant has a metaphysical property. The Woolly Nightshade is known for; repelling negative energies, cleansing spaces especially after conflict, banishing works and in some cultures it is seen as a messenger plant. Bridging the material world and the spirit realms. Since I brought it into my home, I have cleansed more than normal. I have also had snuff which I hadn’t been consuming of late (not for any particular reason).

Today is the day of the Virgo new moon and I spent my night cleaning my space. It is clear that I am making room for more. That I am grounding and fortifying. While you may not always be able to predict my next moves know this. I – as a 12th houser – am a conduit between Spirit and the physical plane. And I have never been more spiritually aligned and in tune. As such, whatever creations are coming next, they are bound to echo for decades to come.

When you respect nature, nature respects you back. She opens her doors and lets you in on her little secret. That there is much more to the world than we are shown, than we are taught to care about and notice. Your biggest rebellion, is forged through ego-death, centralising yourself and creating real change – not just talking about it. We have enough talkers as it is. May your Saturn Day be fruitful. May you usher in solid routines and health practices – as Virgo herself would encourage. Asé.