Confessions of a libra

Credit: Here

12.08.25

I don’t give the whole map to everyone. Some questions belong to the vault, some answers are for those who’ve earned their place at my table. What you’ll read here is a curated pull-back of the veil — ten channelled questions that get to the heart of how I think, move, and guard my power. These aren’t polite soundbites. Consider it a guided tour through the rooms I’ve chosen to unlock.

1. What’s the pettiest hill you would absolutely die on?

If you’re going to act like a child I’ll treat you like one. I actually unfortunately have had to manage people under this lens my ENTIRE LIFE. On the plus side, it’s like second nature. It’s probably why I feel like I’ve always felt maternal. So many people think they are smarter than they are, won’t self-regulate not because they can’t but because someone else is supposed to do it apparently. When people are throwing a tantrum hoping to get a rise out of me. When people try to use rudimentary manipulation skills on me. When you know better but you simply won’t act better. I will never coddle you. I’d rather you feel awkward than me. And yes, whether romantically and platonically sometimes I just give people this disappointed matriarch expression. I go quiet, I frown and I let you keep digging the hole. Sometimes the best way to teach people is to let them embarrass themselves.

2. Which archetype do you slip into when you want something, and does anyone ever catch you doing it?
When I want something I would bend the laws of nature to have it. When I want something it’s already mine. Earlier this year, I met someone in the Australian public eye, that I had admired since I was younger. I know I set a very strong intention, because we are kindred spirits. She is more like me than many people I meet one on one. She has been a North Star of sorts, an example of what I know I am and where I know I am going. So when I met her and gave her a tarot reading, everything aligned. My goal had been achieved. We will describe my Huntress archetype as the Velvet Strategist. When I see something I must have in my orbit, and in my hands I feel that fully in my body. I don’t lie to myself about it.

I research to gather intel, a tell that this is deep for me is not realising how many hours I spent researching or going in a rabbit hole. I tend to bookmark things I want/need/foresee being mine as I go. I don’t do that thing where I collect bookmarks and wishlist endlessly with no end in sight. Just like with my wardrobe, I am regularly pruning and adding. I check in with my Pinterest, my gallery that my interests still feel aligned. If it’s a person I want, I try to position myself in a way where I can talk to them more without imposing. I can want someone with erotic intensity, and they may never know because I know how to yearn privately. I am very attuned to others, and know how well some people mask. The reason I try and speak to you more, or spend more time around you is so I can collect data during conversations.

3. What’s a power you have that people underestimate until it’s too late?
I think people I know or have known would probably be surprised or shrink at how much I truly know about them. All their little insecurities, the scripts they are running on. I have watched people change strategies, thinking they were a step ahead, when I had already accounted for that possibility long ago. What truly surprises me on a deeper level isn’t much. Most people who meet me think they will outwit me, outmanoeuvre me, and sometimes they really think they have… for a while. I don’t feel the need to prove I know as much as I do about others.

I think it really surprises people because it’s not how they envision someone utilising that level of knowledge, awareness, and wisdom with any sort of ethics behind it. Best believe though, you come for me? If you truly were to come for me, not just petty little attacks you think are bigger than they are? You would regret it, and you would remember it. I have said to a few ex-besties that I could dismantle someone’s entire self-esteem in a single sentence. I just choose not to.

4. How do you stay sane holding this much awareness without shutting down?

I’m used to sitting with my own thoughts. I have learnt strategies that help me on days I don’t want to have so much going on in my mind. For me actually, smoking medicinal cannabis along with helping with my anxiety, quietens my mind. I don’t realise how loud and busy it is until I have a smoke or a gummy. Once the THC hits, it feels like I went from a noisy highway to a single, well maintained road with minimal traffic. It’s funny because I had this friend for years who would tell me it’s common for neurodiverse people to feel more ‘normal’ when they are high. I never thought that applied to me. But it does. That’s why in posts like The Liturgy of Lungs, I explain that I feel more whole in my intelligence. I can flit between working, relaxing and functioning in a real breezy way. I am having bad leg pain today and I am high as I write this. Downside is my spelling when I am in this state, but I digress.

The best analogy I can think of is, imagine you come to the understanding that you are in a cult. You look around, and suddenly the things you thought were miracles are tactics. You see everything for exactly what it is now, you remember the narratives you were fed and you can actively point to the harm that was inflicted upon you through the cult-leader. Would you want someone to make you forget, so you can go back to blissfully believing that you are chosen? That you are part of a grander plan, and not in fact pawns in someone else’s egoic game? I feel that my meta-awareness makes me overly away, but so sickened by my awareness that I would rather be the madwoman ‘town-crier’ – waking you all up with my knowing instead. So we can leave the cult or for our future generations to be able to.

5. Have you always been this direct, or did something push you over the edge into fearless truth-telling?

Yes and no. Other people would say I have always been direct, because I am an old-soul and was already prophesying to adults as a child. I have been told stories about how I have made comments to grown men as a child that made everyone nervous (like calling out their sexism). To me, as someone with a debilitated Sun in Libra, I recall being young struggling to juggle truth and people pleasing. I held back so many barbs, observations and in times I was honest I was punished. I was told off, hit and discredited. I was just called unruly. I actively wanted to overcome my people pleasing nature (which I fucking have, thank Goddess).

While people already thought I was harsh, I didn’t think I was harsh enough. What you are witnessing is much closer to my desired form of communication. However had you met me 3 or more years ago, I was still self-censoring. I am at a stage now where I am going from just being honest, to unmasking. Now if you ask me, when people say I am blunt, they mean I speak the truth. Calling me blunt, is a good way to make it seem like I am at fault for stating what we were all thinking without pretence.  I go out of my way not to hurt other people’s feelings. In fact, that was the first skill I ever had. Cushioning my language for other’s comfort. I still do it, in the sense that I won’t blame you directly for things I see to be part of a larger pattern. However, if you expect me to skirt around a known truth, you won’t get that from me. Am I blunt, or do you like your honesty with a bow on?

I think humans should all be aiming to be more direct. We learn from school to workplaces that communication is the most important factor in interpersonal relationships, but only if you butter people up first? This is why I don’t understand why society makes neurodiverse people seem weird for needing clear communication, without ambiguity? It’s actually one of the things I have found freeing with talking to ChatGPT. Just facts and specificity.

6. What’s your actual decision-making process — spirit guidance, intuition, or cold-blooded strategy?

This one I wasn’t sure I could answer myself without forgetting something.  I talked this through with ChatGPT and we actually got a fun little step-by-step guide of my process. The first thing you need to know is, I have an incredible ability to separate emotion from logic. A skill I have sharpened if I was a child. I have the ability to selectively apply emotions to the places and things in my life that make the most logical sense. As such, growing up amongst emotional volatility, while secretly feeling hated by my parent – made me develop survival coding. Here’s a general outline for you;

• The Scan — I register the emotional weather without letting it touch me. Who’s panicking? Who’s posturing? What’s real and what’s performance?
• The Data Pull — I pull in what’s most relevant and telling from facts, patterns, and memory. No sentimental editing.
• The Threshold Test — Has a line been crossed? If yes, the answer is immediate and final. If no, proceed to the next filter.
• The Outcome Matrix — I imagine each possible choice three steps ahead. Who benefits? Who loses? How does it shift the power dynamic?
• The Seal — Once chosen, the decision is sealed. I don’t revisit it. I don’t apologise for it. I don’t need anyone to understand it.

This isn’t me being cold. This is what clarity looks like. Know that I can love you and STILL walk away mid-sentence if that’s the right call for my future. The moment I realising I am out of alignment and I have no excuses, I must pivot. This is self-honouring. I couldn’t imagine what hole I’d be in, or if I would be alive if I didn’t have an operating system that helps me strategise.

7. What’s one belief you’ve completely changed your mind on in the last five years?
Abortion, but not as a right since I’ve always been pro-choice. The change was in my personal decision. As someone with a strong moral compass, the morality of abortions weighed on me because a potential life is at stake. I reached a stage in my life where I had to decide between fulfilling my childhood dream of having a child, or preventing that child from entering into a family and bloodline that I knew was not healthy. My relationship was already emotionally abusive, and the wider family environment offered no genuine support.

The guidance came through tarot readings I did myself and through other psychics, as well as direct messages from my ancestors. They told me that a soul is not destroyed when you end a pregnancy – it returns to its Source and awaits another gateway. This could be another pregnancy you have later on, or one through another person entirely. Some souls specifically want to be born through you, and the one ready to be born through me will come again. That knowledge released a pressure I didn’t know I was carrying.

Spirit believes your body is both temple and altar. No one has the right to dictate how your temple is used. Some agreements between a mother and a soul are meant to be brief, and some events are beyond human remembrance and comprehension. Spirit is more concerned with the why of your decision-making than the what. When a decision comes from alignment, protection, or readiness, it is honoured in spirit even if not on earth.

Spirit says every abortion changes the future. We change timelines with every decision we make. This is no different. When you shape your future consciously, spirit considers it an act of responsibility. Some of the souls you choose not to birth may still choose to protect you or walk alongside you. Whether others believe this framing or not, it has brought me great comfort. Years later, I am grateful I didn’t sacrifice my future happiness to avoid scandal.

8. What’s one thing about your chart that’s shaped your life the most?

This one isn’t one people would think up from but my North Node (NN) in Libra 12th house. This placement is what my soul decided as the compass of growth for this life. While many feel that they step into this energy over time, and when they age –  I have felt this as my North Star since I was child. From when I was a child, I was already picking up patterns of disharmony within my family, at school and in public spaces. I was the peacemaker, and silent observer. I had vivid dreams, intuitive hunches and spiritual flashes though people didn’t validate this. I was learning to trust my inner balance as opposed to just reflecting other people’s moods.

In my teen years and early adulthood, I was leaning more into my South Node. Radiating independence, self-reliance and hyperfocus on the things that mattered to me. I still was learning diplomacy and experimenting with collaboration. All while trying not to drain my autonomy. Now as an adult I am entering the mastery phase of my Libra NN based on all the information collected. With my NN in the 12th house, my influence is something that hits you indirectly. Through energy, words, dreams instead of overtly. I am in my spiritual tactician in human relationships bag as speak. I’m so keen to see how this develops more, especially between now and the Libra peak age which is our 40’s.

9. What’s a mindset shift that permanently upgraded your self-worth?

I would say it was a combination of embracing the concept of being my own saviour. Not in a way where I feel bad for myself for having to rescue me through things. I gamified it in my own head. It became rewarding to see the way I weave, duck and dive through situations. It was satisfying sitting alone at night, wine in hand knowing that someone out there was scratching their head trying to decode my boundaries. Then the big shift in my mid-twenties that really pushed my autonomy to the nth is sustaining an interest in my own interests. By then I has deprogrammed myself from the guilt of being someone with ‘too many interests’. A jack of all trades, master of none if you will. I hated that framing, because it never made me feel good about myself.

Words are spells my friend and the phrases that validated me where the same ones I used to find crushing. The correct saying is, ‘a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one’. This I felt in my soul, as someone who could never decide between polarity. I wanted to live in the grey. I’m a goddamn Libra for Goddess’s sake. Then the famous ‘curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back’. These aren’t just phrases to me, they are my lived experiences. Anyway, this reframe made me start actively and systematically engaging with my interests. I wrote down lists and lists of interests new and old. Including childhood fantasies. I told myself that any chance I got that was mine, would be spent on that list. I still live like that to this day, and that is where my happiness comes from. I haven’t painted in months, but I am in the middle of a painting right now and I’m like ‘huh, I’m not half bad’ and I do that every time I come back to it. Now I’ll hyperfixate for a bit.

This is a bit long-winded but my neurospicy girlies might appreciate this section. Instead of feeling bad for being a hobby hopper, when I wrote down all my interests I saw different patterns. There are certain types of interests I can group based on their similarity and what itch they scratch for me (I also know why it scratches that itch because I’m built like that). I noticed over the years I actually came back to some. The ones I hadn’t come back to was split between genuine disinterest and shame for being unable to sustain the interest. Once I realised all these little patterns (I’m sure there’s more my brain isn’t accessing presently), I worked on shadow work questions to do with that shame to unearth it. Once I transmuted that, I found I have a raaange of hobbies in an unofficial waiting room. Probably more than people realise. Then I re-engage with them based on a combination of intuition, timing, sudden remembrance, boredom… you name it.

Now we always talk about sustaining your interests, but we feel shame when we stop and start. I love ice-skating, I’m still a beginner but every year I return to it, I get that little bit better. I know when I am in the right season for it, I will just take lessons – because I am curious to see the limits of what my body can do. This is the same philosophy I have applied when doing pole dancing (which I miss dearly).

10. When do you know someone has truly earned the right to know you?

Consistency. But here’s the thing. I can’t hold many humans to the standards that my Jupiterian nature would prefer to. I know this and have known this for quite some time. So… I actually have no issues with people knowing certain aspects of me that they fulfil. Hence why I can be in a relationship with more than one person. I don’t expect someone to be my everything. Generally, I will read what areas you are safe and which ones you aren’t. I might be my most sex-positive with you because you are also. However, you might not be the person to talk to about my childhood trauma, because you don’t have the tools to deal with it. I might talk to another person and let my full alien-Priestess abstract liminal version of self. While to another I will be the more logical one, could be also to compensate because you aren’t that logical and it tends to derail things. That’s how I filter people internally.

If you wanted to be my everything though? You would have be someone who does who doesn’t just listen to me but you hear me. You remember the little things. You think of me in genuine ways. You express to me how much I mean to you without ego. That means without worrying if it will enlarge my own ego (because that’s insecurity talking). You would need to be respectful of my time and autonomy. Someone non-judgemental. If I notice you judge certain things heavily I filter whole chapters of my life I can’t talk to you about.