Confessions of a libra

Anchored dreams | Credit: Here

23.07.25

We are in an age where women are bombarded with hyperfeminine coaches, preaching how to get in touch with their divine feminine energy. Yet one thing I have witnessed as someone who mastered their divine masculine before wielding the feminine, is a lot more women who have an wounded inner masculine. Some of you do not need any more prioritising of your appearance to indicate your femininity. Many of you already know when and how to lean on men because you are well programmed and socialised to. I have especially attracted women whose softness is weaponised as an excuse for halted progress. An the armour for a lack of fortitude, a lack of agency and a lack of will. As spirit says, dreaming without discipline is just performative fantasy.

There is a difference between pain and preference, yet too many women confuse the two. Some want to wear their limitations like badges, then have the gall to want to mine never-ending praise out of you. Some of you have never truly gotten over your teenage angst. What happened is it morphed, and wore an adult-suit. You learned how to camouflage and behave as an adult. Learnt all the right lingo, the right spaces to laugh, the right times to look sheepish. You want to join the groups that give you meaning, you want to wield your wallet frivolously as you would in your future fantasy as a trophy wife. Yet you move through life, using your suffering as a crutch. Reminding everyone that you are nought but a maiden. If you could swoon and be taken seriously, you would.

I am here to remind you that masculine energy is just as much yours to claim as a man’s. You will feel more whole, like your manifestations are being propelled when you embrace all aspects of the self. Women who see suffering as an aesthetic, as the hill they die on or the main bones of the play terrify me. These are the type of people to always have an ailment, but rarely ever a plan through it. Always willing to bring it up as the reason they’ve never achieved their own goals, the reason they cannot be expected to be as responsible as the next adult, and the reason life is just so hard for them. The types to either refuse a diagnosis or receive one and use it as a crutch. Masculine energy at its highest level, that Divine Masculine level gives you; direction, discipline and protection.

That Divine Masculine in every woman is the reason you actually go from daydreaming and moodboards to aligned action. Consistent action. You push, for as long as you need to achieve your goals. The danger with women entertaining these feminine ideals to the detriment of duality, is having all these fancies with zero to show for it. Yes, many of you envision yourselves finding the right, wealthy man to take care of you but with what you bring to the table – are you capable of being more than arm-candy? Many women know the dangers of being pedestalised, most of all for your beauty or youth. Imagine you do achieve your dream, but it feels hollow because you are. You haven’t cultivated anything deeper within yourself.

The amount of women I have had complain to me about money, while knowing I was technically homeless and without familial provision, it diabolical. A fair amount of the women I’ve met with that familial safety net, that either use it as a badge of honour – daring to tell anyone with ears. Then, there’s the types that pretend they don’t have that safety net, like they also have some type of strategy in how they approach their security, only to be callous and have to tag Mummy or Daddy in. My issue here isn’t about oppression olympics, but put yourself in the shoes of someone who has been through harrowing experiences, watching someone cry about imagined oppression.

When I watch women who romanticise their struggle instead of thinking of creative solutions out of the struggle, it pains me. Purely because that is how I live, that is how I have survived the horrors I have. The safety net these women were born into, has turned into gilded cages. They sit and preen inside these cages, hoping that you caught their tears at a flattering light when you walked past. In fiction novels, many authors utilise witches as allegories for the feminine struggle in a patriarchal world. When I read stories of witches or historical novels about women trying to remain autonomous under oppression, I don’t see these as concepts. I see these as things I have already lived, and choices I would be willing to make now and into the future.

I have been unfortunate enough to have had money held over me by many people throughout my entire life. As such, I am deathly conscious about finances. About how they can be used as a tool to subjugate or liberate women. I have always seen finances as one of the most liberatory tools you can wield as a woman. I have poured over the years into my friends tools, tips and learned information about finances. Not because I am a guru, but because I wanted to overcome the one area of my life whose insecurity has plagued me. Ask anyone who’s ever known me intimately and they will tell you about my obsession with retirement planning. Hence, plenty of conversations with friends and family alike about Superannuation.

While many of them thought it was dorky and quirky, my Superannuation fund presently sits at least a decade ahead of the average man in my age range and nearly two decades ahead of the average woman my age. This is all approximate of course, as the average data I could find differed across sites. I know so many of my female friends just nodded, when I would bring up these topics, thinking I was being annoying and worrying too much about the future. Yet to pretend like the future isn’t inevitable is mad to me. Why wait until you’re 40 to start panicking about your retirement? Especially with women never having as good a safety net as men in retirement. This is exactly like women who wait until they see wrinkles to start using creams to moisturise their face.

Feminine energy archetypally is about flow. It’s about receiving. It’s not about action or doing. When you are a woman balanced in her duality, you not only dream up your grand plans, but you strategise and make it a reality. Instead of just saying I want to be a millionaire, which is super vague and who doesn’t – I know categorically, I want to have more than a million dollars in just retirement alone as a safety net. I also have a retirement age goal, that makes sense to me and my personal value system. I want to own land, for myself as a gift to my future lineage. I want my future children to know that when they have ease, it’s because I carved the way for them. I used my own will, my own fortitude and any man who contributes is merely contributing to MY vision.

I would build with a man who didn’t want to own me or control me. Yes, I would make a man sign a pre-nup and I would sign one too if my partner wanted. I don’t think contracts and logistical planning detracts from the romance like many people seem to think. I don’t think it’s an either or situation. Practicality, is sexy if you’re grown. Delusion is sexier if you’re not. When women refuse structure and discipline this presents itself in; never finishing projects, dreams as a source of dopamine but unrooted and relationships become transactional because they outsource masculine energy to men.

It’s easier for women like this to lose themselves in relationships, because they defer leadership almost entirely. All they bring to the table, is the ability to look pretty and feel feminine beside a man. Women already use their masculine energy professionally because working life was constructed around men. If you can force yourself to do it for the extrinsic approval of men that you work for, why can’t you find the will to do hard and annoying things that benefit you?

As an Astrology buff, I have to include a little Astrology into this piece. I have an earth grand trine in my chart, which I think really helps ground all that air and fire energy I have. Many of you women with earth placements, only like them insofar as it reminds you to do your skincare over something more gruelling like budgeting. Stop using Astrology as an excuse to not plan for your own future. Another thing with earth-dominant women is somehow thinking that money is better when it’s received from a man, rather than earning it. A lot of your fantasies are surrounding men gifting you money, or holidays but you’re thinking too small.

Many of you could have a generous lover and never have anything to show for it because you are addicted to collecting things and validation. You will have a lover who gives you money and you blow it on designer bags instead of investing it. I’m not knocking the hustle of you wanting to play into hypergamy. I am knocking the lack of discipline to navigate financial terrain for more than optics. Too many of you care what people think where money is involved. You won’t listen to me telling you to put money into retirement because it’s not something people can see and praise you for. Lean into your earth and water placements to help you navigate real tangible security for yourself, whether or not you get a leg up along the way.

Practically, masculine energy provides the container for your dreams to flourish. It helps you set milestones, set rituals and then the feminine energy provides the magic. Being overly in your masculine energy as a woman looks like; having hyper-independence (I don’t need anyone, I’ll do it myself), needing to control everything, always in hustle mode and likely attracts men who are in their feminine energy for balance. It comes through as rigidity about timing, structure or ‘how something is supposed to be done’. Can get irritated by women who flow their way through life, because it feels ungrounded or unfair. When you are too much in your feminine; you keep relationships in your life because it’s easier than rousing conflict, you ‘flow’ to the point of chaos, you have a martyr complex and you may attract hyper-masculine partners (who are likely predatory).

Leaning into your feminine energy when you already have a strong inner masculine, is a safe thing to do. When you lean into that framework or content and apply it while already having too much feminine energy, and you are likely going to be taken advantage of – especially by men. While I agree with a large portion of the takes that these femininity coaches have, it’s simply not true that men will always value aesthetics over depth. Many men haven’t encountered someone whose depth drives them to ravenous need. And the day they do my love, I promise you they will chase that high like no man’s business.

Either way, we are not supposed to be existing for the approval of men. When you are orchestrating a whole new wardrobe for the sheer purposes of attracting the kind of mate you want, the shallowness with which you approached that task is the shallowness you will receive from the venture. You should want to be a more alluring, charming person from the inside out. You should want to be a more interesting person for yourself first and foremost. Any posturing you do to draw someone in, will crumble once they know you better. It’s simply a losing game. Let your dreams be daring and cultivate a will strong enough to achieve them. Every time you fulfil a promise to yourself, you create greater self-trust and you become your own version of untouchable. You deserve a soft life, and I will always back that want. The next era is for women who wed their softness to structure. May you marry your inner King, before tying yourself to any man. Asé.