Confessions of a libra

Miss Nyra’s avatar | Credit: Here

13.07.25

My journey to pleasure through hedonism, has been entirely orchestrated by me – and now I bear the fruits of my labour. Beginning with making the decision to lose my virginity my own way, and not wait for the conditions provided to me by Christianity. My decision to dominate began as a method of self defence. To wrangle the man, before they wrangled me. Then came curiosity. Curiosity as to the sacredness of power-exchange. The harmony and the reciprocity.

I practiced things I had read about in erotic stories, in teen chat forums and niche BDSM discussion spaces. One of my earliest memories of dominating a man, was when I was a teenager roughly 15-17. I used to troll the teen chat forums like it was my full-time job. Always in secret, in the night (like a few other girls I knew). One time, this boy/man was particularly horny and wanted someone to take control. So, using the chat function I guided him through it. I told him the pace he should go at. I told him when he was being good. And I told him when it was time to cum. The rush of euphoria I felt after that power exchange, left me heady on the fumes of erotic power – with consent.

The kind of communication that it takes to have good sex, is something I noticed with my early pattern recognition skills. I was unaware yet that what I read in erotica, or what I found in sex-positive spaces were not true reflections of how many people operate in real life. It’s how they envision they will, but not many people have the will and maturity to facilitate their own needs. Once I met someone for whom attraction surpassed these earthly markers for compatibility, my very first strong karmic connection – then came in my switch era.

By the age of 19 I comfortably identified as a switch, though I have always leaned slightly towards dominance. Dominance is something I didn’t have to do much mental or emotional preparation for. I have found it to be intrinsic, though it is uniquely mine still. I may dominate you but with my sensitivity and spirituality – I will not do it the way you’ve witnessed in porn. My brand of dominance is as much psychic and emotional as it is physical. In fact, I have just recently realised that I can sexually submit while being emotionally and psychically dominant. I think this is my base level of submission. I trust my higher self to guide the sexual experience by actively participating in my pleasure while not directly orchestrating it.

Being a brat is my favourite way to express my cheeky, contrarian nature. I like being able to give vague answers, and soft no’s purely for the reaction. I enjoy a push and pull dynamic, because it’s stimulating. Anything less would bore me to death. While I have always had bratty energy, I didn’t realise how much I had a praise kink until my early 20’s. Once I understood the language behind what I craved, it made it less weird and I felt more confident in requesting it. To be in my vicinity in a sexual experience one of two things needs to occur. I cannot sleep with people I haven’t seen, witnessed and evaluated.

With my Mars in the 11th house, this makes me someone quite able to sleep with people that I deem to be ‘friends’. I need to know I can lower my guard with you, that is just unlikely to happen the first time I meet you. This placements is ripe for a friends to lovers pipeline. So if you meet me at an event, and you fear you missed your chance – just keep talking to me and putting yourself in my orbit. Don’t be shy I won’t bite, hard. Only if you want me to. While I need to feel a form of genuine kinship, I also need to respect your mind. With Mars and Venus in the 11th I am a complete sapiosexual. Don’t fear again, because many people are under the illusion that intelligence only exists where IQ is concerned. My definition of intelligence is likely very different to society’s and I can recognise different types of intelligence. These things speak for themselves. If you are highly creative, that is its own type of intelligence altogether and I rate it.

I have always sought reverence during sex, though when I was younger I didn’t express it in those words. This could be a result of my Leo placements or my being an old soul whose lived numerous lifetimes with varied sexual experiences. In retrospect my Mars and Venus being in two-sister signs whose ego tops the zodiac, could be why I hold myself and my own standards to a high degree. Those who have ever gotten a regular sexual relationship with me – also how on brand for Mars in the 11th to engage in friends with benefits – then know you only got that spot because my body felt honoured, revered.

When anyone of any gender or sexuality touches my body like it is an object or like some half-baked porn fantasy, I shrivel. I could not be less interested in being a part of that world. When you touch me, you touch me softly and with presence. You earn your way to being able to have rough sex with me. It is INSANE to me that femme bodies are expected to be thrown around, without any research to the effects and no respect for their enjoyment or personhood. It has been normalised in society for femmes and women to ‘take it’ but not in how the giving should actually be conducted. Those that penetrate must learn that you cannot enter temple doors without an offering. Anytime you do, do not expect any prayers in that temple to be fulfilled. That is the energetic, spiritual exchange that you engage in every time you enter someone else’s body. We all want elements of having our bodies be conduits for another’s pleasure, but this can be done with the utmost respect.

If you want a sexual experience with me or in your own life to be satisfactory, having a good debrief is imperative even multiple times over. My favourite kind of foreplay lies in talking about sex, and not with the intent to have it in the moment necessarily. I like exploring with our minds first; our limits, our erogenous zones, our grey areas and exploring what variables could move the needle on any of those. There is no point in lying or hiding your kinks, that just hurts you more than me. If you are a man, who wants to be rimmed – just say that. Cis men especially are insanely wound so tight by the societal conditioning by their incel ancestors (the forefathers of patriarchy), that the idea that they can embrace pleasure that allows them to receive more than give – feels foreign and wrong. Yet when they don’t, they are instead harming those around them by the secret indulgences they don’t admit to and the secret liberties that they take.

A bit of fluidity in one’s life and experiences will only brighten your world – not dim it.  Many men in this world are too excited to have sex, but not curious enough to research how to have safer and more fulfilling sex. For both parties. Researching what things are normal scientifically, emotionally, physically or socially where sex is concerned. Not enough men have cared enough that they can’t make a woman cum, to look up what information they can learn about the clitoris and how it operates – then bridge the gap. As such, I am not surprised by the emotional myth-making women do to try and retroactively explain why they are disappointed by men sexually. But I digress.

Curiosity about sex is a form of foreplay. If I don’t think you have it, you will not sleep with me. If I sleep with you once and you do not display it in how you react or adjust to my moans and movements – then that’s a turn off. Hygiene is the next important thing. Physical and spiritual hygiene. Now, this might be a uniquely Western problem so my people of colour you can skim over this bit. If I have sex with someone, after a long day and didn’t specifically prep to have sex, I will initiate a pre-sex shower. Some people in this country think showering with soap is optional. It is not. The lengths people go to avoid hygiene especially when interacting with others intimately, is a crime. This is my the Moors taught the Europeans how to bathe. There are very different social standards around hygiene, so check in with your partner as to what they like.

It is unconscionable to me that someone would want to engage in anal play for example, while having terrible hygiene or not being conscious of their hygiene. I keep my vessel clean, especially when I am interacting with others. I am sensorially sensitive, so I want to smell your natural skin scent or your perfume/cologne – ONLY. I don’t mind the post-sex sweatiness. It would be unbearable if the other person had terrible hygiene and I wouldn’t subject myself to that! Spiritual hygiene to me looks like being conscious when you engage with sex. Being conscious of who you sleep with, and most of all being conscious that anyone you engage with it is a gift. Are you bathing with intention? Are you checking in with your partner regularly? Are you never assuming consent?

You need to be aware that sexual interactions create energetic cords. You should not be flippant with the feelings of those you engage with sexually. When you play games with people, treat them like they are there purely for an ego boost or when you forget how to worship at the altar of another’s body – expect problems. Expect to attract and extract behaviours from others that are trauma responses. This could look like lacking boundaries, stalkerish behaviour, slander, gossip and a note on The Ledger. Has anyone ever noticed how many of those men who were playboys in their prime, end up alone in their old age? The children, estranged. Ex-partners or wives the same. Lacking community but still talking about women being 30 hitting the wall. When they die alone in hospice, their memories of conquest won’t be holding them as they pass away.

I’ve heard people say things like, ‘if I was as hot as her I would be a slut’. Maybe what she has and you don’t – is discernment. Beauty is a currency, but beauty is dangerous to the unworthy. It’s dangerous when someone becomes fixated on someone’s beauty and can quite literally lead to their death. All that to say, just because some can do something, doesn’t mean they should do it. Yes, I can call myself a slut or a whore to reclaim the language and because I have no hang-ups about those words – but I can be a conscious whore. I can be a sacred slut. I don’t have to be callous to receive the pleasure I want. This is why I can go a year to two inbetween sexual partners without any sexual contact with another. It’s not lack of options, it is about not wanting to disrupt my energetic flow. Especially as someone with a womb, wombs collect data (memory) whether you are conscious of it or not. I have had to do a lot of womb work, to repair energetic fissures from previous experiences. I will not let it get that bad ever again.

Now at the advent of my Saturn Return, with me publicly online as I was always destined to – I am stepping into my highest timeline of sexual sovereignty. As such, last night Mistress Nyra was named. Not born, she has been in the making since I have consciously engaged in sex. Now she is fully fledged, entering her godhood. Mistress Nyra is a fae-blessed, spiritually ordained Dominatrix and Initiatrix. Do not expect to receive from her what you receive from others. You drink from her chalice with the reverence she deserves, or you will be scorched. This is an expression of my dark feminine, which is not about love, light and kumbaya. Come correct or don’t cum at all.

Many people admire me from afar, thinking it to be a show of worship or devotion. When you do that do me, you are pedestalising me and I detest that immensely. Reverence doesn’t live in the shadow of your fantasies. It lives in the courage to step up and say, ‘I don’t know everything, but I know that it’s you I want to figure it out with’. You must approach me and throw down your gauntlet. You must be brave enough to be chosen; naked, shaking and unsure. That is more attractive to me than your self-righteous script that you don’t want to dull my light with your attention. I don’t need energetic devotion, I need it physically manifested. I do not need to be chosen. I am the choice. Note that as my journey with Mistress Nyra evolves, I will update you on The Velvet Edict as to any changes to my mindset and my learnings. Until we meet again, stay sexy and sovereign.

Signed by Mistress Nyra, erotic lawmaker and High Priestess of Soft Power

Written under Lilith’s jurisdiction.

Signed in bone and brilliance.