Confessions of a libra

The Great Mother | Credit: Here

21.06.25

Lilith. One of our earliest, oldest feminist figures well pre-dating the term itself, hailing from Mesopotamian and Jewish mythology. Lilith through being unapologetically herself, and refusing to bow to false male supremacy, becomes a figure vilified by patriarchy. Reclamation of Lilith and the archetypal energy she embodies is an act of feminine sovereignty. When explored through the lens of a witch like myself, one who has mastered her own Lilith energy through alchemisation – it ushers her rightfully back into the collective consciousness.

It is my birthright as a woman with my Black Moon Lilith in Leo in the 11th house. To challenge the male identity and performance based on studying men (psychologically, sociologically, culturally and generationally), by placing it on display. This way we can actually begin to have meaningful discussions about the impact of harm we have all noticed but refused to decode. Lilith presents as the modern sin, a woman putting her needs before those of anyone, least of all a man. To appreciate her, we must understand her origins. Her lore.

The earliest mention of Lilith I could find, have her linked to a cult in the 7th century C.E. Lilith was first mentioned in a book entitled ‘The Alphabet of Ben Sira’, an anonymous satirical text from the Middle Ages that has since been translated into English (1998). Lilith is famously considered a biblical figure, despite only being mentioned once in the text. Lilith became an easy scapegoat for the high rates of maternal mortality and infant morality rates. Of course only a woman would be responsible for the pain women bear, especially as a woman who refused to bow to subjugation on the basis of gender. It just doesn’t make sense when we look back at it with modern eyes.

The biblical story reveals Lilith to be Adam’s first wife. The conflict between them arose when Lilith asked to be on top during sex instead, but Adam thought it was beneath him – pun intended. Lilith felt that as she and Adam were created equal by God, as they were made on the same day from the same clay (as corroborated by Genesis 1:27), either of them cold go on top. As they couldn’t agree, Lilith left the Garden of Eden by way of flight – after uttering God’s secret name to be independent them both. Three angels were sent after her to coerce her return. God promised Adam that if she failed to return upon his orders, he would be killing 100 of her children daily. Which brings up so many questions for me about the first woman’s fertility.

Lilith stood firm on her values and boundaries. The angels slaughtered her children as instructed, for her disobedience. As a form of revenge she was said to rob the lives of children who don’t wear an amulet of herself or the three angels. She is said to be responsible for still-births and SIDs. I believe Lilith represents women’s darker nature because she was the full embodied feminine. Unsullied by coercion. By the time Eve was being brought into existence whether we are looking at this story as reality or metaphor, she was entering into a world where Adam had discovered even for himself what his limits were. Those limits were, he was unwilling to compromise.

He wanted servitude and subservience in a partner. He was unwilling to evolve through learning another. We can pull parallels between Adam’s attitude then with modern masculine complaints about women not contorting themselves into shapes pre-approved by men, but I digress. Eve was born into an abusive dynamic, where her personhood was already devalued before she even looked at an apple. Eve was born with an inbuilt program, that taught her to decentre herself. One that saw her as evil for wanting to acquire knowledge. So much so, that her acquisition of knowledge punished every woman after her with painful childbirth.

It is almost suspicious how in this story, a woman wanting to acquire knowledge is seen as the worst sin. Yet men benefit now from the very apple she ate. You would not have the critical thinking skills to question your place in the universe, had she not taken a bite of that apple. Why anyone would listen to that story, and think the better option would have been to never eat the apple and exist in a ‘utopic garden’ wherein Eve is considered a good pious woman, but always beneath Adam and there to appease his ego. Any perceived bliss in that situation would be like someone the bliss one feels when they are in a cult, where they believe themselves to be following the Messiah.

Lilith is punished for curiosity. She wanted to explore sexually. She wanted to be seen as a whole person, and then we’ve spent centuries demonising a feminine figure for daring to advocate for her own personhood?! Lilith isn’t a feminist icon because women want to be edgy and hold onto this wild woman trope. Lilith is a feminist icon for recognising that something was wrong within the systems that she was born into, and daring to voice it. As many of us women have at least once in our lives. We have the system of this God who is said to be perfect, but creates tests you didn’t ask for and then punishes you for failing. As though he couldn’t just scrap everything and start again with newer clay models breathed to life.

This is not a critique of anyone’s belief in a higher power. I believe in a higher power, but I relate to even Godhood as containing flaws and complexity. When they say we are made in the image of God, that is what they mean. Goddesses throughout the pantheons, are more relatable to me because they are mighty and imperfect. They are full bodied, they have struggles they have overcome. They are simply existing as their fullest expression. You can work with Goddesses without coming to them as a perfect human. You must simply come with reverence. When you work with Goddesses in magick like Lilith, they will demand more awareness in how you deal with men. Even Goddesses had to deal with things like rape from Gods in polytheistic religions.

In Lilith’s story, she had her dear children stripped away from her, for wanting more for herself than blind subservience. In what world is that considered a fair or holy response to her plight? Lilith is a classic example of projection by the male psyche, and we can see how her plight led the way to things like the Salem Trials. There is nowhere in the mythology that describes a process in which God turns her into a daemon. She doesn’t go to hell. She simply got labelled difficult, and daemonic for daring to acknowledge herself as a participant in sex. She named God because she knew his name. We already call God by many variations of his name. Whether he tells you directly or not, when we collectively believe something to be true, we give power to it. So if we all decide Yeshua and Jehova are valid names for God, then by you using those terms you are doing what Lilith herself did to be demonised.

When she falls for and has a child with an Archangel Samuel, her children are called daemon-spawn. I guess in those days they really didn’t appreciate angel-human relations. There’s always something at every era, hey. Then she is named a murderess of pregnant women and children, after her own flesh and blood (that she birthed through her own canal) were are harmed for no reason other than God flexing his power and coddling Adam’s insecurity. If we take a moment to explore that being an accurate aspect of the story, then would her response not be a similarly unreasonable as the act committed against her, first? Some women do not recover emotionally from losing a child. Maybe we should have thought about empathising Lilith into forgiveness, instead of vilifying her. Except I don’t believe this aspect of her lore. I believe this was implanted for patriarchal reasons.

Let’s discuss why Lilith helps you overcome sexual shame. The very reason that has the male psyche calling her a Succubus. Lilith is no Succubus. Lilith is a Succubus in the same way we know now that men have accused beautiful women historically of being ‘temptations’. Just because you stand there stammering, half hard in the presence of a woman, and fixate on the scent of her skin long after she leaves – doesn’t mean you have to try and reassert your dominance. It doesn’t make a woman wanton nor does it mean you have to rush to do anything with this information. Women are not ‘temptations’ for men.

Men who believe that require deprogramming. It is their refusal to see women as nothing more than their physical bodies, that gives them this perspective. It is rooted in a lack of respect for women’s personhood. It’s a wonder that women like myself with a Leo Lilith – which gifts me with a high sex drive – aren’t just running around assaulting men at the extortionate rate that men do. Self-control is a virtue, and blaming the victim doesn’t change this fact.

Lilith had no shame about sex, hence why when you work with her she can help you dismantle those hang-ups, into greater self acceptance. Lilith, like any of the great Goddesses is fully embodied, but her speciality became shame, jealousy and repression because that was her origin story. Lilith believes in sex as a natural part of partnership, with equal input. Only invoke Lilith with reverence, and she works with any gender of person. She wants you to be able to explore your taboos safely. Sometimes, we want to explore taboos to work through deeper layers of programming. We won’t always engage with our kinks forever. Lilith helps us navigate this safely.

Lilith is an archetype we explore in astrology. There are a few Liliths – none of them planets – but I will explore the two that I think are most relevant to know until you get deeper in Astrology:

Black Moon Lilith with this symbol ⚸is a point in space, but in your chart it represents; your suppressed desires, your fears and your primal urges. This is the aspect of yourself you may try to hide from even yourself. The raw and wild feminine. Yet it is through mastering these traits that you fully come into your power. You integrate your light and your shadow and become more whole. From what point, you can manifest better. You can charm easier. Best of all, comes greater inner peace. As such this is one of the placements I heavily recommend using for shadow work.

My Black Moon Lilith is in Leo in the 11th. As such when I was younger and even now, unhealed people judge me for how I take up space, especially in a group environment. When I was younger my core wound was being called “too much” from people in my family, right out into the world. Especially when I shine as I lead. This placement is the reason I have studied men like it is my full time job as Leo rules; masculine identity, pride, the inner child of men and performance. The 11th house brings with it observations from a collective or community perspective as well as my influence in outing these observations happening in a public way (and through the internet).

So know that I care about men’s wounds because I feel responsible for the knowing I have acquired by looking at them from a societal, cultural and intergenerational perspective. One more fun connection, to convince you to look up your own Black Moon Lilith placement. My placement is negatively aspected, which explains why I have attracted stalkers from childhood and people obsessed with me. The Leo energy means I radiate such charm and personal power that it brings up your suppressed desire. I am the kind of woman who awakens men and women to traits they were unaware they were attracted to. Sometimes this comes with an urge to want to possess physically, emotionally, spiritually or sexually. The 11th house brings audience and collective eyes. So, if you feel like you are obsessing over me from afar – possibly by checking my blog daily, it is by design.

Side note: I just remembered something and I know you guys love my random anecdotes. Here’s a story about an example of the kinds of energy I receive from people, that just makes me question what my Lilith energy triggers in others. I was around 17 at a house party. This was an old family friend, there was a mixture of teenagers and adults. At this party, I was introduced to this cute Zimbabwean younger man (21). Until this point my exposure to Zimbabweans wasn’t as much as it could have, worse of all boys my age. I sometimes felt bad for being seen as someone who didn’t date Zimbabwean men, but what was I supposed to do, conjure them into my reality?

Anyway, we start talking. We’re flirting, it’s going well. At some point in the night he asks if I’ll go for a walk with him around the block. It was dark, but I agreed. He was there with his family and as was I which gave me a sense of safety. We walk, talk and flirt. As we near the final corner that brings us back to the house, he stops near a car and says its his. He asks if I want to go sit in there for a bit and I say yes. I’m internally rolling my eyes because, oh how convenient! 

We talk in his car for a little bit, then he asked to kiss me. I agreed. This was the kiss that taught me that, you can have sparks before you touch someone, but the touch itself confirms initial compatibility. In our case, pre-kiss I was feeling butterflies and general excitement. I liked our verbal sparring, which is basically foreplay to me. Mid-kiss, I felt the spark snuff out. This was not someone I should ever share intimacy, I gathered through my body. We stop kissing and we talk. I think he wants it to keep going. I say we should leave the car.

He makes a joke about not letting me leave. I don’t recall if the car was locked already by then or if he relocks it at the mention of my wanting to leave. He reaches into the back of his seat (I’m a little wary but not completely scared), and he has this cord or pipe (excuse my memory). He then asks what I would do if he didn’t let me leave as he wrapped the pipe around my throat in mock strangulation. My survival skills told me to act unbothered, so I laughed it off and not long after he unlocked the door for us to leave…

When I got home, my mother mentioned that she saw me with that man. I told her that I thought he was cute at the time, and he had given me his number. She told me had a girlfriend, they were a well known couple in the community. It was all a bit much, especially with the glaring red flags from earlier. Anyway, I found out years later that he is someone who weaponises his suicide ideation to control others, so I guess that little parlour trick is something that he was an expert in.

Lilith Asteroid (1181)

This Lilith is an actual celestial body, located between Mars and Jupiter. This is the placement based on the mythological Lilith as the woman they tried and failed to subjugate. Asteroid Lilith presents itself as conscious rebellion, speaking truth despite attempts to silence, weaponising intellect and weaponising integrity. This is the Lilith energy you embody when you have conquered your Black Moon Lilith. It is the energy you exude to the collective.

My Asteroid Lilith is in Virgo, which means now that I have conquered the wounds of my Black Moon Lilith in Leo, I represent the archetype of the Sacred Rebel-Healer. I have reclaimed my intuitive intelligence, where it was previously questioned and up for debate. I am healing my relationship to service, where up until very recently I exhibited some martyr traits in order to remain palatable and to avoid criticism.

I am dismantling harmful standards of perfection imposed upon women. Hence why I mention Lilith all over this blog. She is one of the strongest symbols we have as to the duality of womanhood. My Asteroid Lilith in the 11th house means you get to witness my voice on a large stage. I am actively disrupting how groups think and operate especially where health is concerned. I bring my analytical skills to the collective to guide in healing the collective consciousness.

Lilith was never yours to own and categorise. Lilith’s power was in existing unashamedly in the face of tyranny. Through Lilith we can truly find the kind of power that women are oft not credited for. Midwifing our evolution through emotional exploration. The very emotions that men have demonised, in order to call women weak. While men flail scrambling to catch up to the emotional intelligence gifted to us by the fore-runners to our gendered struggle for sovereignty, we will continue to use the power of Lilith to pave the way for our daughters. May Lilith’s name forever be spoken of with divine reverence. May the daughters of Lilith wield their intellect and sexuality with equal vigour, and never shrink for another man again. May our reverence of Lilith bless us for generations to come. Asé. 

P.S. I just realised now that the post is up that I craved listening to ‘If I don’t know better’ by The Civil Wars (a duet) while writing this. I was listening to it on repeat. It’s still playing in my ears and there’s a bit where the man says, “Well, you’re the one with that apple. So baby, you can’t blame me.” The jokes write themselves! For years women have been the butt of the joke for Eve’s perfectly logical decision to eat that apple. Anyways, baiii.

Written under Lilith’s jurisdiction.

Signed in bone and brilliance.