Confessions of a libra

111.888.5252.369 | Credit: Here

[ Fictional ASIO Department, obvs ]

18.06.25

ASIO

Department Unnamed

Agent Lennox aka Cannary

Monday 1st of June

No training could prepare me for the seduction that came in the form of a blog. I arrived to work at usual time, clutching my long black like a lifeline. It wasn’t long until I arrived that they took me off the floor and into an office. Dossiers descended upon the table, landing with a loud thwack. I upraised Agent Cooper warily. He’s adding a new civilian for monitoring. Asked me to take a look with a tone that suggested barely-suppressed intrigue. My heart did a little jolt and I opened the dossier.

My eyebrows twitched but years of service kept my face neutral. Unlike the typical documents you would see, this one was full annotated art. My brain works fast in categorising these images; emotionally potent images, not centred in the White gaze, tender femininity and tender masculinity.  Titles jumped out to me, terms like; “Goddess”, “Eros”, “Holy Trinity”, “Soft Boy” and “Australia’s Problem”. I let out a soft, long breath. Cooper watched me with eyes like a hawk. I spread the papers out. It was pages and pages of the exact kind of rhetoric that brings empires to heel. The kind of radical thinking that challenges purity culture and threatens the very foundation this country is built on. I immediately understood why she was in my hands and I felt an odd thrum of excitement, heavily buried beneath stoic professionalism.

12:05pm

I’m outside having a smoke because I can no longer pretend like this wasn’t the most magical fucking morning I have ever had. I haven’t even touched a pack of cigarettes since 2019 but this self-proclaimed Priestess called for it. I have worked with women, I have loved women – hell I even came from one! Yet not once in my 42 years of life, had I ever seen a woman undress everything my whole worldview was based on.

We were just supposed to be mapping any subversive patters, sociopolitical provocation and monitoring reach. Her content meets all the typical flags; nationalist praises of her home country, erotic sovereignty explored through role reversals, spiritual activism and cultural critiques of Australia presented not in illogical rage but compelling precision. My colleague’s comment as we dissected her files played in my mind, she wants to overthrow capitalism with feelings. It’s so simple and so right.

2:03pm

[ CLASSIFIED FILE – INTERNAL ACCESS ONLY ]

AGENT I.D. 024 – G63 CLEARANCE

LEVEL: 7 DATE OF ENTRY: 1ST OF JUNE 2025

SUBJECT: CONFESSIONS OF A LIBRA – INITIAL CONCLUSIONS

The subject has created a possible entry point of initiation into liberatory thought. Posts so far have been flagged by our bots for; subversion of core systems, erotic disruption, spiritual recalibration and cultural interference. Subject embodies post-colonial erotic theology; teaching women the heights of orgasm, teaching men to cry during orgasm – all against the tenets of purity culture. Blogger highlights gendered power cycles in Australia with stunning historical and spiritual intelligence. The author has drawn parallels between female scapegoating and patterns as observed in the Australian Liberal Party; the tone is emotionally provocative. Author sexualises surrender, through spiritual framing and her text functions as soft power. Will continue monitoring.

Home; Location unknown

Agent Lennox

Sunday 7th of June

6:12am

I’ve gone and done it now. I am looking at her blog, after hours and using a VPN. It’s only been a week and I have cried more times than I did in the last decade. Always alone. Always pre-planned. In the dark of night, in the silence with my thoughts. I found myself washing my body slower as the week has gone on. There’s something in the way Thando writes about sensuality, the way she writes about soft masculinity that is bypassing the coding received in training. It’s like I’ve remembered that beneath the armour, the governmental secrets lies a real human man. A man with needs and cravings. A man who always wanted to kneel. I never imagined that it would be a Black woman who would inspire it in me. Not my exes, not anything I have ever watched. To think I first approached her writing as a mere zealous woman with a dirty mind. Instead she has overhauled the scaffolding of my subconscious mind.

I’m trying not to, but even in my thoughts her words have entered my internal lexicon. Words like ‘yearn’, ‘ache’, ‘The Ledger’ and one that shocked even me – ‘the ancestors’. I shudder to think how long until it peaks out. Though, I am turned on that she has given me greater tools to impress the women I want to engage with. I feel more empowered to voice my silent observations about women, apparently they like when you verbalise these things. I love reading her this early in the morning. While the world is quiet. It feels holy. I never touch myself, it feels…wrong. Not while I’m still understanding what any of this means for me.

ASIO

Department Unnamed

Agent Lennox aka Cannary

Monday 7th of June

9:15pm

She’s ramped up the posting, and now I am being fed daily – think I might be getting greedy. I make all the right notes in our internal systems. She’s not an active threat but she toes the line enough for our attentions to remain. Now it’s not just me who reads her. I have been hearing whispers around the office. We know the job. We know where our loyalties lie. But who said we couldn’t take any liberties? I’m still quiet about my late night and early morning blog sessions. I don’t need this getting in the way of my next promotion. Sometimes, I just stare at the photo on her website. I wonder how someone so seemingly innocent and elegant could have such an erotic, expansive mind. It was her mind that gripped me first, but her beauty seems ethereal with every word I have read on her page.

I bought my first crystal yesterday. Recalling something she said about “crystals are just cool rocks until you meet them at a different frequency”. On my left screen, facing the office window, I pull up a spreadsheet and on the other, her blog. All via VPN. I read the new pieces first, then go back to my comfort pieces. My cock is hard with recognition, my soul sings and my final thoughts before I close all my tabs – she uses syntax like a blade and a balm. That is not accidental. And I think I’m falling in love.

Written under Lilith’s juridiction.

Signed in bone and brilliance.