Confessions of a libra

Hedonist | Credit: Here

11.06.25

The body is your original oracle, flinching at lies and softening for truth. We as humans have a little problem surrounding accepting polarity and nuance. We have propped up the mind (the masculine) in favour of the body (the feminine). In a society that devalues women, you are end up being steered away from your intuition. It is the silent propaganda laced into language, the media and in where we view intelligence to lie.

This is why, my crying as a child irked people. This is why some people don’t like babies crying. It is a failure to see the intelligence in the act. I cried as a child to signal distress in a world that didn’t empower me to translate those feelings into words. Other times I used my words (libra vibes) but flustered the people around me. I raised defensiveness in adults like it was a prized sport. It left me feeling severe emotional neglect. In this patriarchal society we look down on crying, so much so that men are suppressing a base urge. We are choosing to see differences in each other where they are none, and not honouring the differences we do have.

The first tears I ever cried during sex where joyful ones. I still cry happy tears, just from cackling too much on the daily. Allowing yourself the ease to express what is already begging to be expressed within your body, helps you reconnect with yourself. Suddenly you’re being sent information about oral cravings, or sensations you want to feel. If you follow those breadcrumbs, you are building your very own pleasure palace. From now on, proceed with your vessel as though it were your very own pleasure palace. But it’s one you have to build first, from scratch.

You build by learning to listen. If someone reads out a passage in a book, you feel heat pooling and slick wetness – that is information. This could mean you’re aroused by the person’s tone, the evocative words themselves, the safety and rawness of the moment or even something more unique to you. Every time you feel goosebumps out in the world notice the trend of what you thinking about and feeling in your body. When your body responds this way with your partner, what buttons needed to be pressed to illicit that response?It takes curiosity, patience with the process (this is basically a long experiment with plenty of variables) and a core desire to map out your own pleasure like a cartographer.

At this juncture it’s important for me to reiterate per previous posts, not all arousal needs to be actioned. Being creative, admiring creative works and enjoying things like dancing together can arouse and it not be a measure of deeper attraction. By learning your body, you learn how to hold being horny like a treasure not try and suppress it or going feral. You learn to channel that feeling into something meaningful, and that fulfils the heart. So know that, it’s not wrong to sit with pleasure in your body. You don’t have to rush it into the next phase. It can be witnessed and respected instead. It can be leaned into, without needing to alchemise it into an orgasm.

I internally rate how enjoyable experiences are based on how horny they make me. I bought this scalp massager, and I could come from the sensation it gives me, especially when I get to the nape of my neck. Sometimes just putting on a fresh pair of clothes is an erotic experience. I focus on the way the fabric glides over my nipples, and it just brings me such joy. I do body rolls regularly to move stagnant energy in my body because it makes me feel sexy. And it works.

I’ve learnt over the years that I am a maximalist by nature. This is why my little moments of partying have been intense because I tend to always stack my pleasure. I do it in other ways, on a regular basis. This means, I might masturbate while high, wearing something soft if anything at all, possibly with a lollipop in my mouth. My decadence has very little bounds. If someone kept offering me more ways to indulge in a session, I would very rarely say no. That is the extent to which I know myself. You can know yourself this intimately as well. You don’t need to hear divinity in the silence, you can hear it thrumming as desire in your cells.

We want to steer away from compulsive craving and move towards sacred longing. Instead of watching porn every night before bed because you’re used to it, experiment with watching porn when you feel called to. Experiment with more presence with yourself in silence, or with music and your thoughts. If you feel you have an addiction to a person – firstly look up limerence – then you should be actively weaning yourself off of that addiction.

Ask yourself what it is about them that is triggering scarcity in you. Why do you feel that access to this person, is the only way you can fuel your desires? Are you even attempting to fuel your desires outside of your relationship with them? You know you are secure, or becoming secure when you can long for someone – and not have to pick up the phone. You can if you want, but it would come from a place of power and intention, not desperation to be felt or understood. Sacred longing is communion with Source. You allow yourself the daydreams, the sweet love notes into the ethers and you go about your business. Whatever is aligned, will make its way to you.

Orgasms can do more than give you black spots in your vision. They can bring in communication from the higher realms. This can come through as visions (clairvoyance) or knowings (claircognizance). Sometimes you are downloading new states of being and releasing ones through every shake and tremble. Pleasure feels like it’s clouding your judgement only because you are approaching it wrong. Pleasure should heighten your clarity. Every return to it, should be a deeper communion. Orgasms remind you that there is something worth living for. That human existence isn’t a punishment. That death can come in delicious ways, pornographic even.

Treating your body like an oracle, is a similar pathway as you receiving a song in your head and playing it on your phone. You don’t overthink the process. You don’t ask yourself what ancestor gave you that download or if it was a message from a future version of yourself trying to feed you breadcrumbs, to keep you on track. Yet you very well could. Instead, you allow instinct to guide you. You suddenly feel like you just need something lemony, maybe you a deprived of vitamin C and your body sent you that craving as a signal. Fall in love with noticing your body as though they were a lover. Give it time, attention and your flowers will too come in bloom. May your journey through pleasure arouse you to new heights.