Confessions of a libra

Self discovery as abundance | Credit: Here

07.06.25

You are not behind, you are exactly where you need to be. Do not be looking at me as anything other than a beacon of possibility. I stand illuminated to show you a path you can choose to take. I would never ask that you change your belief system for me, that’s religion’s job. My job is to make you an active participant in the things you engage in. I want to talk through some of the ways that I see life, to guide whoever actually needs this. Even if you disagree with anything I say, let my words help strengthen your argument or resolve.

My commandments:

1. Joy is my birthright
2. I am my own saviour
3. Justice is my north star
4. Starting afresh is my reset
5. Hobbies are non-negotiable
6. Solitude is holy, solitude recalibrates
7. Be the change you want to see in the world
8. Treat others as you would like to be treated
9. Independence and autonomy are my highest values
10. Honesty as a personal value not a concept outside of me

Religion

Comparing the doctrines of all the major religions and any of the smaller ones that you know is really eye opening. It teaches you that we use religion to structure morals, but for the most part we agree on so many of them. What makes a religion more valid than another is simply perspective. There is nothing wrong with religion, if it isn’t exploiting its participants. Unfortunately modern religion is very much tainted, in my eyes. I wish it taught more personal agency. Not to simply pray things away or to call them in. I wish the pastors weren’t using tithing to coerce the churchgoers. I wish more young girls and boys weren’t forced to attend institutions that may put them in harm’s way from sexual abuse. Church men are some of the seediest men I have ever met, I don’t care how jarring that is for you to hear.

I value any religion that doesn’t focus its preaching on admonishing others. I may attend church for someone I love if it calls for it, but any church that starts saying ‘these people deserve to go to hell and we don’t‘ I am zoning out. If you have to make a sermon about how people are too selfish these days or another church raised a million dollars, in order for me to give my hard-earned money – you can go straight to hell. I went from being Christian to Agnostic and now I identify as an Eclectic Spiritualist. I will accept Eclectic Witch/Priestess as well. I found the latter communities to be less judgemental. I feel less judgemental now that I am untethered and deprogrammed from religion.

Final thoughts. Learning to have a personal connection to the divine is a much better proposition than attempting to fake speaking tongues. I advocate with any spiritual practice, you pick what feels natural to you and you ditch anything that has you second-guessing. Maybe that’s something you want to think about and explore for yourself. You can take your time with this. Following a code, is something that requires deep consideration. You should take it seriously because you take yourself seriously. Being born into something, is not the same as having a passion for it. And sleeping around while carrying shame then showing up to church and praying for forgiveness – is a losing battle. As a non-religious person, I detest how religion uses shame to mould behaviour. If we had it my way, I would teach everyone through joy and pleasure (with discipline).

Sacred Scientist

As a part of my autonomy and independence, I treat myself as the greatest project I will ever work on. That’s why I don’t mind curating things, starting afresh, adjusting to life’s chaos…It’s because I believe if I want a particular outcome, I have to take action. It is why even though I can exhibit some demand avoidance, I generally always return to my philosophy of addressing things. So when people have witnessed me retreat when my life was seemingly falling apart, I was nursing myself through tackling this new reality. I spent about 2 months bedridden last year with depression. It was a horrific time. But I knew it was a temporary state. So while I had no will to do much other than be in bed and scroll, I then used that time to mentally prepare for what I might want to change when I return to me.

This meant curating Pinterest boards, watching videos to find new muses for the next era of my life. So while I grieved my circumstances, watched myself rot away in bed, I was plotting. As such, when it was time and life pulled me back in with loving arms – I hit the ground running. Then I got the job I have now. You can choose to treat this life like a video game. You can always level up, if you refine your skills and technique.

Redemption

Combining the topics above, I believe in redemption. I was an unruly child and I wasn’t always proud of the decisions I made, sanctimoniously. Once I moved to Australia at 12, I felt like the universe gave me a fresh slate. So I actively made a decision to start being a version of myself that I can be proud of. I wanted to display integrity, fortitude and open-hearted love to my younger brother.

This is how young I have considered my responsibility to those around me. I felt like the road I was going down, would alienate my brother and possibly get me in irreversible danger. By choosing not to wallow in my self-pity about being a piece of shit, I changed the environment by changing my internal compass. The Ledger to me isn’t like Christian hell. It’s more of a balance sheet. If you feel that you have done something you regret, let me give you the checklist I would use to move forward.

1. Can you apologise to the person you harmed? (In Southern African culture, down to killing – you can repent by approaching the affected parties and paying the penance dictated by them)
2. You need to name your sin. Tell your therapist, your bestie or the elemental spirits. You need to go on record stating your admission. Then, do a ritual to release. Maybe write it on paper and burn it.
3. Make a vow. Stick to it. If you break the vow, recommit. Do it better this time.
4. You need to track your improvements. If you keep repeating the exact same mistakes, especially with new people… The universe is giving you an opportunity to treat new people well and you refuse?! Then The Ledger is knows. Spirit knows.

Integrity

Integrity underpins most of my values. Integrity in every area of life including the erotic. Integrity to me looks like meaning what I say. It looks like making active decisions to air out the hard truth over the comfortable lie. Choosing to have you judge me in the moment, because you misunderstand, over me tweaking my truth for your initial comfort. I don’t need anyone to trigger consideration about how my actions affect others. As a colleague, a sister, a stranger on the train. I feel as responsible for your vessel as I do mine. I would never leave someone in danger through callousness. People who do so (aka sociopathic blonde from an earlier post), trigger me immensely. Sometimes I am sent into people’s lives to model integrity. To hold up the mirror to show you how you are not living in truth. Your truth especially.

It may irk many of you that I choose not to conform, but that is me living in my truth. My refusal to continue University when I knew I wasn’t ready, was me having integrity. I have often said to Weneiya (Aries bestie) that people are unaware how much self control I have, because if they did they would stop talking shit. You think with my Libran perceptiveness, with that Libran sword of justice and my Virgo Mercury I couldn’t cut you down, if I wanted to?

No one can validate my self control more than men I have dated. With how well I learn people, down to body language, down to psychic perception – I can flay you alive by prodding any of your active wounds. I choose not to. So to all the people that have gossiped about me, thought I didn’t know – know that I did know, and I chose to spare you as a mercy. I chose to spare you because of my personal value system. I don’t cause harm where I do not need to.

You are allowed to build your own guidance system, brick by excruciating brick. You do not have to default to a system, especially one that doesn’t incentivise understanding it structurally. Anything that hampers your ability to be fluid in your thoughts and self expression should be evaluated critically. Ask yourself who it serves more to listen to any doctrine. You are not safer by trusting people who say they have a personal connection to God. They probably can never prove it anyway, so your connection is just as good. Don’t let values be something you regurgitate in educational institutions or corporate environments to meet a quota. Let it be something that is rooted in you, and makes existence on this planet a little more bearable. May your pilgrimages me deliciously freeing.