Confessions of a libra

The Doll People are awakening | Credit: Me x

[ Content warning: This piece discusses the following topics; misogyny & sexual assault in raw detail. Please proceed with caution, your nervous system is important. Not all men and all that. ]

02.06.25

Song: The Doll People by Sofia Isella

I encourage that you listen on repeat as you read

The doll people are not men

They are made of ass and glass

Our skin is clay and painted blue

Our head can detach

We are statues with a pulse

We are art you can fuck

The Doll People is a portal into awareness of multilayered abuse perpetuated by men towards women. The Doll People are not men because they are women. Women are the props for men’s egos as defined by patriarchy. There’s a haunting quality to Sofia’s voice that take you right into a sensory performance. The tune itself has that playful, drama feel like you’re watching something light on broadway. Yet the vocals sink into your bloodstream, making you weary, you feel an awareness possibly a tingle at the back of the neck. Your hairs are standing on end.

They are made of ass and glass to me speaks to the ways that our bodies are objectified and dispensable to men. The idea that ‘sex sells’ definitely came from men facilitating their own needs in a public sphere. The sex itself we have represented in movies and porn which is mostly male directors and writers – is all about the man’s experience. Otherwise why aren’t we seeing more tenderness and men going down on women? To continue on this line alone, in many countries of the world women feel at the mercy of men’s moods. Men are one bad mood away from killing you, maybe themselves as well if they are feeling particularly generous.

In Australia, we have a serious femicide problem. It breaks my heart that in response to the memorial for the women that had been killed so far, it was desecrated by a man stating that it was a war against men. I’m as reasonable as the next person, society has failed men in many ways (but let’s remember who enforced patriarchy) but not by asking for justice for women’s murders. Men are not being subjugated because women want better protections and preventative measures to stop from losing loved ones to gender-based violence. The vandalism of that memorial is more egregious than men bringing up men’s rights in response to women’s complaints. As though anyone is stopping you from campaigning for men on a daily basis.

Our skin is clay and painted blue reminds me that even in death women are not free from being treated as objects. Marilyn Monroe’s corpse was defiled before her burial, some mortuaries refuse to hire men because of the high incidents of defiling dead women’s bodies. It is absolutely sick that you would see another human being and put their personhood aside for whatever your purposes. A woman was killed for saying the wrong name in bed and men cheered in comment sections saying, well she asked for it. Our bodies are not instruments for you to play God. Leaving a relationship should come before murdering someone with your bare hands. How many of your boys have cheated? And if they were killed by women for each indiscretion, how many friends would you have left?

I’ve often heard men say that they believe women to exaggerate sexual objectification, abuse and assault. I cannot remember the last female friend I had who had not been assaulted at least once in her entire life. Let that sink in. Did you know that women are more likely to be assaulted by men they know and love than by strangers? I am not exempt from this list. I have been assaulted multiple times over years spanning from approximate ages 9-15. That’s just the memories that came back, I didn’t recall the assaults during some years inbetween until new abuse triggered it as a teen. I spent my teenage years in a melancholic, hormonal haze not because I was an emo teenager, but because I was unpacking some real heavy shit I shouldn’t have had to. I know many, many women would agree with me.

I have never had more male attention out in public than between the ages of 13 and 16. The amount of times I would be walking to the milkbar and have a man slow down and ask if he can give me a lift. I had a short couple of weeks of being stalked by this man in high school. There had been rumours in our suburb of stalking and I wasn’t the only one who had this encounter. After a particular time where I was chased while he was in his car, and my mum showed up in the next street in the nick of time (thanks spirit) – my mother asked my then boyfriend to walk me home. He did, and that man never followed me again.

I witnessed what I believed to be a kidnapping when I was in grade 1 or 2, back in Zimbabwe. This girl was picked up by these two men in their blue lorry. She kept crying that she didn’t know them and they carted her away. I watched her feeling powerless and I don’t recall ever seeing her again. That memory has never left me to this day, and I hope to God she lived. I’m lucky I am spiritual because with my Aries descendant I would be walking home alone at all hours as a young child, and I truly feel the only way I avoided kidnap or rape was my ancestors. I had some close encounters but I feel that they were redirected. My ancestors shouldn’t have to be working overtime to try and protect me from men with a lack of self control. We are statues with a pulse, we are art you can fuck.

The doll people are quiet

What is there to say?

Art does not interpret itself

There are men with a day to save

We are paintings with legs

We are art you can fuck

Why would the doll people have anything to say? What would women know about the plight of men? If they did, they would accept that men need to subjugate, it’s part of their DNA – right? Instead of listening to the plight of women, we will platform paedophiles, look to the side when the homie gets a little handsy and throw our hands up and say not all men.

Drink the dolls

Legs spread like butter

We are wife, whore, mistress, maid, mother

Oh, the beauty and the buyer, take the screaming one because

A woman who doesn’t want it is much hotter than one that does

Sofia’s vocals are a siren song that holds up a mirror to what society has reduced women to. Figures of consumption to be acquired, bossed around, talked over, imitated but not revered, erased, intimidated and placed in a neat little box. If she wears short skirts, well she’s the whore. When you get mad at her for not remembering your appointments for you, maybe she’s your maid or your mother.

The last two lines remind me of this new trend of conservative men lying on dating apps about their political stance. They call themselves apolitical because they are aware that liberal women want to date politically aligned men. But to some men it’s about the thrill of the hunt. In a very primitive animalistic way. Why go for the conservative woman, with the same values when you can try and cage a free bird. Oh, but that would be the most delicious, would it not? There is some sick thrill in men forcing women to do things they don’t want to do. Instead of celebrating that women now have the choice, some men want to shove us back into the dark ages so they can be served hand and foot like the Princesses they are. Provider and protector comes with a lot of caveats and asterisks.

The doll people are alive!

Or so they say

You can never trust

Never trust the art these days

I love those first two lines. Women say that they are humans too, who would’ve thunk it? And as such, their humanity demands that they ask to be paid the same amount per hour as the next man for the same job. They ask not to be inappropriately touched in public spaces by greedy lecherous men. They ask to be considered when decisions are made instead of being treated like second-class citizens in a man’s life. Instead of being expected to always be providing emotional labour and receiving none back.

Oh, women are such nags asking for emotional, physical, financial and spiritual reciprocity! Didn’t anyone tell them that there was a game on the TV? What do those right wing pundits say? You can’t ask women how to date or approach them because that would be like asking fish how it wants to be caught. That is something I have heard, almost verbatim.

To be admired takes precedence over admiring

To be desired takes importance over desiring

I believe modern men are socialised to be takers. They are always thinking about what they are receiving from women. A man I saw recently online said he wanted to have a wife because he was tired of having to do stupid life admin like going shopping and going to the bank. There is such a focus on the self, which leads to relationship imbalances. Women are taking care of men almost endlessly and receiving a sliver of reciprocity. That is what comes with focusing on being a taker instead of being a giver. Being a giver is part of being a provider and protector, no?

Sofia’s delivery is impeccable. She, like me is a vocal alchemist. She paints a scene with just her voice alone. Better still when you watch her perform it. Using everything from breath to staccato to haunting melody. I’ve been stewing on this song and knew it would lead to a channelled writing session. Women’s rage in modern society is absolutely justified. Men’s issues in society currently stem from decisions they have largely spearheaded. I think expecting women to solve men’s issues is not going to work. Not even if you make divorces illegal because women will just not risk marrying. Women are reported to have a higher life expectancy and life satisfaction when single than when married. The inverse is true for men.

So while men speak to us of ‘shelves’ and remembering the sanctity of the family unit, women are practically begging men to give a fuck enough to get each other in check. In this patriarchal society, men are already programmed to listen to other men over a woman’s voice anyday. So it’s not enough to not be one of those men. You have to take it a step further. You have to call out those sexist comments about a woman’s body, you need to check the rape jokes, you need to look out for men and women when you go out at night.

You need to be raising awareness about men’s attitudes that may stem from socialisation but directly affect women’s safety. Women just want to be able to walk at night and feel a little bit safer. When a woman divulges her abuse to you, you need to listen and sit in your discomfort. Do you think it’s more important that you feel uncomfortable or that she was violated? Sit with that for a second.

I want to end this piece by honouring all abuse victims across every race, gender, ethnicity and race. Abuse is abuse and if you made it this far I see you. You are brave, you shouldn’t have had to be but you wear it well. Your relationship with yourself and your body can be repaired with time and patience. Please reach out to any services that you can if you need it, even if it’s a one off call. You shouldn’t have to process all of that by yourself. I pray that all across the world, we see a rise in men defending women, and a dismantling of long-held behaviours that are an act of violence against whole lineages. May you be safe and protected from harm.