Confessions of a libra

Becoming | Credit: Here

29.05.25

There is a different kind of sacred longing I have yet to explore. The longing that comes before you make a decision to change your life for the better. Before any actions are taken in the physical, first decisions must be made in the higher realms. This shows up to you in dreams that help you process your pain. Then you’re cracked open. Suddenly you’re seeing synchronicities. You’re reading my blog and it’s confirming the very things you had just started unpacking in your journal just two nights ago. A song comes on while you’re driving and it is eerily touching on the hurts you’ve been exploring. There is sacredness in the wait. In the silence before you propel.

Your heart feels tender, more open. You feel the need to retreat from others whether physically or energetically. You find yourself excited at the prospect that you have finally begun to explore the very real possibility of a new timeline. It’s so fucking scary and it’s so fucking sexy at the same time. Your stomach does little dances. You let yourself dream and daydream. Continue to do that, that is the fuel that fires up your movement. You find yourself at work zoning out and reimagining the next phase of your life. The one that comes after making that one call, showing up for that one person and possibly from final seeing yourself in a way you never had.

The precipice can feel like shaky ground. Especially because you are both embracing a new reality and reckoning with the fear of it. It’s a liminal space, a world between worlds. It’s lonely and sacred because no one sees it as clearly. It’s tender and you worry that telling someone too soon can disrupt the magic one way or the other. This is all perfectly normal. Lean into the excitement, journal your fears away. As a 12th houser, I consciously (and subconsciously) utilise music to help with all my emotional transitions. Even if that means listening to the same song on repeat for two weeks. You don’t have to get it, just know that it works.

It’s strange feeling like you are outgrowing yourself. It’s isolating feeling like you are outgrowing the beliefs that raised you, the men you built your whole self image on and the very skin that has held it all together. Before patriarchy turned snakes into symbols of evil and wantonness, snakes were earlier symbols of femininity and transformation. The fact that they gather in spirals, like the sacred spirals –  reminds us that life and time is not linear. Snakes remind us that shedding is a normal, consistent part of growth. When you think of yourself in blocks of 5 years or even a decade – have you stayed the same? I don’t stay the same within a couple of months. I might change after this paragraph if you don’t keep up.

All those times you sit around daydreaming about different scenarios that would bring you joy, have you ever thought about leaning in to make them a reality? Is that excitement perhaps an acknowledgement of how attainable it could me? Excitement just like jealousy, is information you are supposed to decode not just witness. When your desires suddenly get louder, when it’s all you think about and research after the world is quiet – this is your sign.

You don’t have to make any rash decisions. There is beauty in the acknowledgement before the application. If you fantasise about speaking your truth to someone; your crush, your boss, your parents about your sexuality – these are all signs you are ready to move into a new version of self. Allow yourself to sit with that, while always conscious that time waits for no man. Not even the vulnerable and well-meaning.

Write a letter to your past self. Forgive them for everything they didn’t know yet. Show compassion and understanding in a way you wish your parents had in a perfect world. Write a letter or script your future self. When you script you must speak in present tense. Write as though you are living a day in your desired reality. It helps you conjure it and manifest it.

Listen to frequency music. This is especially important for my psychics, my empaths and my neurodivergent baddies. This helps regulate your nervous system during transitions. I avoid mainstream media when I am mid-transition or breakthrough. I like to filter what noise enters my vessel. Please commune with nature. Go for walks, talk to the trees, make offerings to water spirits. Those little downloads you get when you’re out and about – those eureka moments – are a blessing from the universe. It’s no coincidence.

You are sacred even when you are choosing. Even while standing at the crossroads. Allow yourself the grief of transition. Feel it, journal it and exercise it. May your ache be your compass, not a condemnation. May your becoming be gentle but irreversible. And may you remember that softness is the true origin of power.