Confessions of a libra

Fortune favours the bold | Credit: Here

29.05.25

After grief, after longing, after stillness – comes a leap. It always hits me like a truck. I wake up one day with a knowing, that I’m ready and nothing will stand in my way. That’s how I go from being on The Precipice, to taking action. Sometimes change looks like sending a text, getting a haircut or even buying a plane ticket. Other times it looks like actioning things that won’t take fruition immediately. Opening that term deposit, enrolling into a new course or squireling money away for your escape plan. It doesn’t make the change any less holy or deserved. It’s about the change itself. It’s about how this change defines you. When you take actions (especially consistently) based on your own joy and goals – you will never lose. Even when it doesn’t work out.

Book that flight and go live somewhere no one in your family dared to live. Live there with no one present to cheer you on. Do it for the curiosity. Do it while trusting that your wants are all valid and anything that doesn’t work out, is likely redirection. I’d much rather tell people that I won’t do something because I’ve already tried it and I know it won’t work. If you’ve always been in relationships and currently are but have always known you have a co-dependency problem, that change can look like booking a solo trip. Taking the leap is about trusting that you have done enough thinking. It comes from a subconscious resignation that you know what you want, and you cannot merely think your way to victory. That would be too easy.

Taking action can look like mental and emotional conviction with shaking hands. You stand up to your bully for the first time and your fists are balled to hold back the full body shakes. It doesn’t minimise your act of bravery. Your act of self love, self trust and self protection. Learning to do things even when fearful is one of the most sacred lessons I could ever empower you with. I have performed on so many stages since I was a young child, singing to audiences. Every time, my body shook. And every time I returned to the stage. If you asked me tomorrow, I would sing with tremors running through me. It’s not a failure. It is an indication that you are doing something precious and feeling vulnerable. How utterly human!

Taking action doesn’t mean that you no longer have doubt or grief. It simply means that your conviction far outweighs them. All you need to remember is, the brain will calm down as you show up for yourself. Your brain cannot dispute the evidence of you working towards something and you coming up on the other side. You might have felt like you’re dying, but the fact that you survived it plants seeds in your mind. You continue to water them and that is what finally quells your fears and silences your grief. Sometimes grief returns like a thief in the night. In the silence, when your mask is down and the night is cool. It’s not something to supress. We can hold multiple states at the same time.

You do not have to earn the blessings that come from action. They arrive simply through your participation. Remind yourself too that all your decisions are pathways not destinations. That way when you try something you craved and it doesn’t work out, you see the lesson. You need to learn overtime to see failures as lessons and redirection. Sometimes we want things that are better experienced as temporary moments. I have gone after dreams I had and only found out by enacting them that they didn’t have as much sway as initially thought. This doesn’t make my dreams less trustworthy, it makes my assertiveness noble. In trying something that has no longevity, I have learnt something valuable. You never know how this information can help your future self or others around you.

Self trust to me is about acknowledging that I can walk into any room, and all I need to succeed is myself. Knowing that any relationship I enter into, I can exit is liberating for me. This was one of the earliest pillars I built within before trying to tackle my control issues. Start by realising your own autonomy and realising no one knows how to protect you like you do. May my words be the vigour or the balm that you needed. As spirit says, there is no temple holier than a moment of self-trust.