Confessions of a libra

Alone & Unafraid | Credit: Here

29.05.25

One of the most rewarding aspects of my life path is being able to use myself as an example. If there is one thing I can use my skills and talents for, it is dissecting my own past and path. Through me, I can unearth those tender moments we choose not to talk about. When spirit asked me to talk about the grief that comes with near-love moments, I felt my self protectiveness kick in. But there I am on duty, at your service. Near misses are my most bittersweet friends. The ones I avoid and allow in slivers of moments. Likely in the dark, at night with soft melancholic music playing.

I’ve never believed in forcing anything. When I like people it is something that speaks for itself. My leonine heart glows and my libra self radiates under the attentions of my beloved. My biggest problem has been loving people who felt like they had to be whole to be deserving. That is the pattern I have carried across my life.  Now I don’t think this is exclusive to me nor is it nefarious. There’s just a lot of people in this world with unpacked trauma. The result of this is  that when love arrives, we glitch. We cannot believe that someone could see us and love us when we have long believed ourselves to be failures and undeserving. As I write this I see flashes of images in my mind of people I have loved and hoped would love me in return.

While I am loud and brash about the people I love, it has taken me a lot of restraint to handle it with care. I’ve never wanted someone to feel I had pushed them into a corner. Worse still, with all my knowing. It hurts that my psychic sight has spooked some people and my intelligence has spooked others. I’ve been pestalised and made an unreachable idol. The one to crave and obsess over but unattainable to the common man.

Yet know this dear reader, if I have met you, I can feel your obsession over me psychically. It does nothing to pine after me in the darkness of your room. For those who have read “The Wounded King: Volume 1”, that is an exact example of the archetype of man who never allows himself to be with me. The kind that watches, wants to be possessive of, wants to commit with all his thoughts and body language – but ultimately believes I am too precious to taint.

I have been forced into a godly patience. I have watched timelines of me and many people I have met not come to fruition because of fear. I never hold any ill will because that is the weight of the responsibility I bear. Even if I wasn’t psychic, when you choose maturity over games, you must expect it to be a lonely journey. I see my walk in this world much like a monarch or a monk. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

My Neptunian qualities make me idealistic, but my grand earth trine makes me incredibly practical. I wish more people asked me how they could do the hard thing instead of shutting down. Instead of the lies and the bravado that I always see through. An archetype of man I have encountered that is particularly Melburnian, is the progressive man who wants to do better and be better. Until the time actually comes to make the hard decisions and take a stand. I assume this is a global phenomenon.

In women I have often pined after brilliant women who were already taken. When single, I attract women that are extremely obsessive to the point of discomfort. I’ve been in many an unsafe situation with women, so I have grown tentative (not dismissive) of interacting more intimately. The obsessive types have often projected upon me their fantasy. They have demanded of me intimacy I was unwilling or unready to provide. It’s genuinely made me wonder what it is about me that makes people so heightened. My only guess is the 12th house placements. I am myth and legend to all the sexes but rarely ever am I just human. I’ve been told by women that I am in a league of my own, and while that is flattering I have always found it to be othering.

To close this piece, I simply say if you also experience the grief of possibility – I see you. I meet people and can sometimes see 50 paces ahead. I can tell things like, our relationship would flourish if she stopped being so hard on herself. Or, he thinks his mental health issues make him unlovable but I have my own so who would I be to judge? You can lead the horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. That’s a good thing. We should all be holding out for the people who see us without explanation. Those willing to decode us as an act of love and devotion. We deserve people who see us for our mortality as well as divinity. For to do any less would be an added burden upon our shoulders. May your grief be soft and kind. May it be short-lived and may your relationship decisions be ever in your favour.