Confessions of a libra

25.05.25

Growing up in the West, having to watch my Motherland like a stranger looking in – I feel it is my duty to set the record straight about Southern Africans. Many out in the West are uneducated about Southern Africa, it’s present as well as its history. In the diaspora, I noticed the visibility of West Africans. The adoration in the beauty of East Africans (especially the women) and the glorification of Northern Africans especially in connection to Egypt. West Africans as a collective are a bright, vivacious people in their expression. It is not surprising that they have captured the world stage as they have.

In Southern Africa, our strength lies in our silence. In the pause between words, in the eye contact. We do not interrupt wisdom, even when it comes in the form of silence. We read the energy inbetween. We are more concerned with everything surrounding your words; your gestures, your tone and your eye contact. Your energy speaks for itself. We notice posturing quicker than a lightning strike. It is common where we are from, for a parent to silence a child with a single withering look. You’ll rarely find a woman screaming after an unruly child. 

Our magic has never lied in fighting to compete. As the younger generations see the value of visibility in the modern world, I believe they have begun to lose sight of this magic. We’ve never been concerned with proving ourselves and I hope we maintain that with our future generations. We are smart enough to not show off about out intellect, and wise enough to let ourselves be underestimated. Where we come from, we are more concerned with actions than words. We wait before jumping into any actions. You can tell us about your grand plans for the world, and we sit and watch. Yet, while we may be quiet, we are loudest in our joy.

We are notoriously laisse faire in attitude. We truly do not stress the small stuff. Not in an Australian way where you say you’re chill but you are really just ready to road rage or yell expletives at the nearest immigrant. We place our value on community building. Being able to share resources, attend community events and religious institutions. We have less conditions among ourselves on how relate to each other. We simply exist among each other, in harmony. People are friendly when you’ve just met them. There are no designated places to make friends because it happens anywhere and everywhere. Our family structures can be confusing to the West who rely on having very specific titles like ‘great aunt’. Where we come from that’s just ‘aunt’ or ‘older mother’. 

Southern African women are a mature red. Not for the faint of heart, full blooded and deadly in the way they sink into your very bloodstream. One moment you are sipping delicately, and the next you are drunkenly swaying on love. Our hips are as bountiful as our hearts, but our femininity doesn’t need words or performance to be real. You can patronise us all you like and in the silence, we have judged you. We do not expend energy arguing unnecessarily. I once had a man I dated ask me when I was going to pop off and yell at him. I told him he had watched too many movies with African Americans. If you rile me up to the point of having to yell at you on a regular basis, you have de-stabilised my nervous system. I will now have to exit the relationship for my peace of mind. My ancestors did not fight for freedom, so I could be fighting a man.

I would like to end this love letter, and educational piece on the heart of Southern Africa with a quote from spirit themselves. They say we’re quiet, we say we are listening. For those of you who had never spared a single thought for that part of the world, I hope your eyes have been opened. For those of you with Southern African friends, I hope you see them with new eyes. You see in their silence strength, resilience and cunning. Not an opportunity to harm. It is a testament to where I am come from that I am open to learning about other people and other cultures. As a Zimbabwean, my people are open minded and open hearted. It’s about time that we and our neighbours get the respect that we deserve.