Confessions of a libra

Rest is your right | Credit: Here

23.05.25

Capitalism thrives on you bypassing your bodily needs in lieu of achievement. Half the time, no one actually cares about the wear and tear on your body no matter how many times you express it. You’ll be in the middle of a panic attack and everyone will ask okay, but when are you getting back to work? Personally, I don’t mind a system that is fair and equitable, that makes sense especially for the collective. As black people, we lean towards collectivist thinking, like our Asian and Native counterparts. Yes, I want personal success but what’s the point if I’m at the top of the mountain, alone? What’s the point of being the Emperor when your kingdom is starving?

As a black woman, my rest is my revolution. For all of my ancestors who were enslaved and made to raise children that weren’t their own. Whose bodies were used like they were disposable and readily available. Black women especially do a lot of labour for society that goes unnoticed. I bet you don’t even know a single black female inventor, and yet there have been many who have contributed to the very things we use today. History lesson for the day ‘patents’ are something white people invented so they could claim early inventions by anyone of colour (especially black people).

We are expected to be raised in communities that do not care to learn how to pronounce our names while benefitting from our labour. Always relied upon but very rarely ever offered a helping hand. I have cried to many people and have received apathetic responses. It still shocks my system that people can be that disconnected from their own emotions and from the collective conscious/unconscious. No one is going to thank black women for the times they had forethought that stopped an accident from occurring. For the unsolicited advice that was blunt but exactly what you needed to hear at the right time. No one cares that I have prayed for their wellbeing while they took shots at me in boardrooms I was not present in.

I have worked for so many people I believed in and been disappointed. Daring to believe that the policies they implemented were truly for the good of the people and not centring greed. But if I have to be the one to show how one should use their wealth with integrity then I will be the model. I work hard, but I refused to continue breaking my back for systems that never cared about reciprocity. Everything you do in this life is an energy exchange. No one should be getting more than another, in a fair system. Let’s not even get started on the myth of meritocracy. If meritocracy were real, you’d have a lot more Africans in positions of power globally. I said what I said.

In a world where some have the comfort of leisure due to the seeds planted in their family lineage, some of us have to decolonise. We have to learn that it is okay to fall apart. To not be okay all the time. I have been shamed and laughed at for my sensitivity. For processing my emotions. This has real life consequences. I am working on not apologising after myself when I cry. I do this because people have been downright cruel. I never forget though, and I know that the sword of justice, is remorseless in it’s vengeance. Truth is THE authority. More than your earthly hierarchies. You can run from truth, but you’ll never hide.

Whether you are a black woman or someone else in the capitalist ecosystem, take some time out for yourself so you can return to the things you love with vigour. It doesn’t make you wrong to not always be on your A game. You are not a robot, you are not broken. We are all getting burnt out every few years because capitalism is running us into the ground. We are working more hours than anyone else ever did in history. Look into the history of employment, employment hours, unionising…these are all elements that will help clear your eyes of the debris.

All that and then women get home to clean up after everyone without anyone caring about their needs. Women are getting more and more autoimmune diseases – which has been linked to stress. Just think about that next time you want to make a snarky comment about a woman having a mental health day.

Be discerning. Learn your bodily rhythms and honour those as well as your ambition. Having it all isn’t about you working so hard so you can live in a mansion. You need to play the game enough to survive, but with a cunning nature. Because I promise you when you die prematurely (yes, I’m going there), your work colleagues may not be at your funeral. You might have a vigil for a night, then the world keeps on moving. You must hold your own personhood as something that is of value. You must not allow yourself to be a sleepy cog in a machine. I will leave this piece with the totalitarian pillars explored by George Orwell in 1948; War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. Make of that what you will.