Confessions of a libra

23.05.25

Spirituality is erotic to me. Following the threads of information that got me where I am now, allowed me to see the depth in the erotic. Unshackling myself from a lot of mainstream belief systems, has natural led me back to tradition. I believe what tribal cultures across the world have always known and tried to preserve – by seeing the divine in everything. That is something Westernisation has stripped, purely from how violently it was enforced. When you begin to see the divine in everything, life itself becomes orgasmic. You may have read my earlier work and wondered how I focus so much of my energy on sensations.

It’s normal for me to experience mundane moments as though they were grand and magical. Sometimes it’s something I have to lean into after being too much in my head. Magic feels like being in my body. That’s why it’s so addictive. As someone who grew up unsure I even belonged on this planet, I followed the threads that made life as a human a lot more bearable. It’s why I chased sensual experiences. That alone was like a drug to me. I could suddenly understand how colourful life was.

I wondered for people who were more in tune with their bodies (as I am now), is this how life was all the time? Well I’m still an air sign so I have a propensity to find myself in the cerebral. However through time and practice, I now follow my body’s signals on connecting with it. Sometimes that’s through stretching when I feel called to. I listen to music by myself and touch myself softly on a regular basis. I’m always checking in with my body, it’s just informal because we’ve built a steady and sturdy relationship now.

Every time you feel butterflies, every time you get wet, every time you feel a flush in your cheeks or throughout your body it is a message. Learning to receive those messages can help you in both psychic and erotic ways. Sometimes when I’m writing I’m feeling my nipples harden, my thighs tingle, restlessness and they are all signs that I’m aligned. I’m not just talking when I write erotica.

Any time I register something in my body as a great or revolutionary idea – it arouses me. I am liberated enough to be able to say to you in conversation after a discussion, that it turned me on. I probably won’t say that in a professional setting, but the sentiment is the same. I don’t do it to excite you. I do it to translate information from my body. It’s the same as saying, I am feeling spiritually excited by that idea and I can tell my body agrees.

Being able to get a flash in a certain part of the body and interpret what your body is trying to say instead of overriding it, is revolutionary. It means you no longer view your body as just a commodity. You see that it’s in constant communion with you. The power you get from being able to know what something means in real time and not have to decode it for years after, is delicious.

Not every erotic sensation is made to be explored in the modern porn-laden society way. Sometimes eroticism should be honoured by being witnessed and thanked. Sometimes I honour it within myself by touching myself in the sensitive areas. A way of saying, I feel you and I honour you. In my body arousal and excitement are very near each other in sensation. That’s how I’ve realised that not everything needed to be taken anywhere.

Self-pleasure can open you up not just to yourself, but to ancestral information. You also have access to pleasure codes hidden within you awaiting the right stimulus. Experimenting with yourself is a way of unlocking different downloads of information. If you want to look at it scientifically it could just be stored epigenetic information that is triggered somatically. Or cosmically you can see it as access to your own past life sexual information or knowledge from your ancestral line.

When you re-discover yourself erotically away from view, you can rewire all the gender bias through those downloads. It won’t happen overnight but might gain insight into things you crave. Those things don’t always fit old outdated versions of you, that was still relying on societal programming. Crying after orgasm, won’t just be something that happens with another. You can give that to yourself, just as well.

As women, I believe part of our journey with sexual liberation is learning to centre our pleasure. In and out of the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be loud and it likely will benefit your partner by-proxy. I don’t want to call anyone out but sometimes we can dissociate during sex. There is an aspect of modern woman that is programmed to believe sex is happening to her and not with her.

This comes largely from conservative talking points wherein a man is the catalyst for a woman’s pleasure. This is part of what underlies, women’s lack of confidence in speaking up for their discomfort. I have known friends to outrightly state they put up with painful intercourse for the other person’s comfort. I have compassion not judgement toward that. But if you’re reading this and you fall into this category – please know you deserve pleasure just as much. No exaggeration.

The union of bodies should be treated as sacred. Even in my most casual relationships, sex with me is always worship. A visceral experience, like going to church. As such, your body deserves to be coaxed into the erotic and gently held there until an inevitable unravelling. Anyone who has ever made your body feel less than precious cargo should not be allowed in you.

Men, this applies to you as well. Your vessel is important, it is regal and it should be revered. A woman should not be able to walk up to you and claim you hers like in many of your fantasies. Do you know her? Have you asked your body if she is safe? There is nothing sexy about rushing intimacy. There is nothing sexy about appeasing someone in the moment only to ruminate on it for years to come.

Once I realised I had an issue with dissociation, all it took was awareness to train myself out of the habit. This lead to me being able to shift my body, ask for certain angles because my body was telling me what she enjoyed. It helps when you are strict about not dating or sleeping with someone who makes negative comments about your body. Any man who wants to sleep with you, must bring offerings. That includes compliments. A woman will not unfurl into bloom because you guilted her into it. You need to be a safe space. Women need a lot of time, a lot of patience and a lot of presence. If you are already counting down to the end of intimacy because you want to play a game, you’ll never experience a woman at her zenith.

Erotic information is equivalent to psychic information. Your body is always communicating but it requires you to slow down to hear it. Not all erotic sensation must be explored. Sometimes, we honour by acknowledging and revering. Dissociation is not a curse and it can be managed. You can teach yourself over time that you are now safe to re-enter and enjoy your earthly body. Enjoying your body brings richness to lived experience. Alignment within the self is always the goal. Let life enchant you into seeing the erotic everywhere you go.