Confessions of a libra

Lilith in Leo | Credit: Here

23.05.25

I always had this inner sense that I was destined for greatness. It made life frustrating when I was constantly being punished for being right too early. Before your brain had gotten ready and online. I’ve been severely underestimated by many whom I have left behind. I don’t blame them, they did the best they could with the information they had on hand. I would say I am naturally humble but I’ve had to perform being humble because it rubbed people up the wrong way for me to have self acceptance. People wanted to clap for me while telling themselves it was a fluke. I was accused of seducing teachers, since primary school. The things people do due to cognitive dissonance.

Your want to categorise my success or my personal expression to said success, is a personal bias. If you are uncomfortable at someone owning their personality traits, you may have low self esteem. I don’t take other people’s wins as an affront to my own. I don’t sit around seeing competition where there is none. I love competition with myself. I measure myself based on past versions of me. I speed-run through dreams I’ve mentioned over the years because I am important to me. My joy is important to me. Evolution is important to me. I don’t need to be in formal education to write S.M.A.R.T. goals or nurse my intellect. These are things I do willingly and openly, for myself.

I’ve been judged by people I know for my willingness to end relationships. I am unwilling to stay and figure things out for years or years on end. Even my own romanticism is not at the cost of how I will live the rest of my life. But I do blame my romanticism – specifically the societal conditioning spoon feeding Disney romance – for why I might stay as long as I do. Were I not having to deprogram that in real time, I would just be speed dating to find my soulmate(s). I’m not too sure where we got the idea that relationships are somewhere you go to suffer and die at your post, from. My Leo placements could NEVER allow me to live a life that isn’t rich in fun, flirting and good romance.

As I grow older, I see even clearer that the moves I made despite scrutiny – were always aligned. The gnawing thing that led to the end of the relationship, was my intuition. It was spirit saying, time’s up this one’s not serious and we’ve got things to do. I have always known legacy to be important to me. Now all my little quirks and intuitive hunches along the way are converging and making me make sense. I understand why I have always been drawn to certain hobbies e.g. Writing. Had I not continued to pursue it, even in the dark years of writer’s block, I would not be broadcasting to you right now. It is my love of Twilight when I was 12 that spurred on a reading hunger like never before. The fantasy stories I had grown up with in Zimbabwe were nothing like the Western ones.

I am a great fantasy writer because of something the boys at school made fun of me for. I am not a perfect dancer, but I could titillate you in many different forms because I have had the gumption to try. I’ve tried; salsa, merengue, bachata, ballroom, hip hop, pole dancing  and zumba. I was a passionate field hockey player for many years of my life. I had my musician era in high school where I would perform at school functions and for our local city council. I’ve had my; pilates era, jogging era, on and off painting eras, dating eras, solo trip eras and business eras. I am an air sign, fired by leo energy. I have a pretty quick processing speed.

I’m honoured that so many people I meet, I serve. So many ex-friends and lovers, I knew what the assignment was. I helped in whatever way I was meant to, with my full heart. I gave without expecting anything back but hoping for reverence. Many could not contain the breadth of my love. It felt too real, too big, as though it defied explanation where there should be one. You take the lesson as I have and nourish your new relationships with more fervour than you could offer me directly. My well is already full.