Confessions of a libra

Credit: Here

18.05.2025

Welcome to my guide on rituals for sexual empowerment. I am here to act as a guide to lead you back to your body, back to sovereignty. It has never been your fault that your body sometimes feels strange and uncomfortable. Its common to feel uncomfortable, unhappy, hypercritical or even obsessive. The most relieving news is, the mind can be trained. Neuroplasticity is one of the best words you can ever learn and incorporate into your vocabulary.

It speaks to an ability for your brain to form new neural connections. This can as a result of; you learning new things, your brain forming new connections to bypass an injury etc. A lot of concepts explained with science also have corresponding rules within spirituality or magic. So you really don’t have to pick because whether you pick the scientifically sound lingo or the esoteric woo woo lingo, you are likely arriving at the same result.

Sacral Chakra healing

To feel more empowered in the bedroom, I would actually start outside of it. If you are looking at the body esoterically. I would start with checking if you have a blocked root chakra. If you do, that is something you should work on first before you delve into deeper sex work. Don’t overthink it, just look up ‘blocked root chakra’ or ‘overactive root chakra’ and follow the breadcrumbs.

Where learning is concerned, please be patient with yourself. You don’t have to know everything at once or know everything in one go. However, the reason I say start with the root chakra is; imagine your spine is a railway line. Starting at the base of your spine up to the back of your neck. If we had to build your spine up from scratch, why would we start in the middle? It makes no sense. A plant has to grow in the soil before it germinates, grows and blooms.

After the root chakra comes the sacral chakra. Once you are working on sacral chakra healing, you work on your creativity. The sacral chakra rules your sensual, sexual and creative energy. It is all coming from that one well. You need to burst through some negative self beliefs. If you want something that streamlines it (even though on the surface is has nothing to do with sex) get the book ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julie Cameron. Healing your relationship with your creativity can unlock you sexually. Fun fact: I am currently in creative flow so I get very turned on by my own creative genius.

Simple visualisation guide: Sit on the ground, or lie with your back flat on the ground. Get centred through your breath. Take long breaths through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe out until you’re fully exhaling. Envision roots growing from you and implanting beneath you. Start with the root chakra, envision the chakra activating and becoming a bright red colour at your coccyx. Envision the light as bright and vibrant encompassing you back to front. You can do this for a few minutes, adding a mantra for each chakra as needed. Then you move up the system using the corresponding colours.

You can talk to your womb. Yes, I said it. You can talk to your womb, just like you can talk to water. Crazy concept, I know. You might already be doing this intuitively without knowing. If you’ve ever formed an upside down triangle with both hands (thumbs touching, forefingers touching) then that’s the formation. You place under the belly button and you speak to it. You speak kind words, you speak apologies, you ask for forgiveness. If you’ve been mean and impatient on your period, apologise. If you’ve had any womb trauma including any surgery then being kind and telling the womb that you understand its pain. That you know it was unfair. Or it was necessary whatever the circumstance. And you make good with your own body.

Womb healing phrases: I’m sorry I abandoned you. I’m sorry I haven’t been listening. I see your wisdom now. Thank you for holding everything for me. To start with then we move onto; I create with ease, my womb is my sanctuary and my womb is abundant. More resources can be found online.

It may sound strange, but it’s worth the sacrifice. It’s worth you feeling strange until it becomes ritual. Then you’re not even thinking anymore. We can bring anointing into this section as well. When you talk to your womb, you can massage oils into it. This can be as a prelude to sex (solo or otherwise) or just because you are learning to foster intimacy within the self.

I personally use castor oil. Sometimes I’ll rub it on my tummy, but most times I dip my pinky and massage my belly button. When I do it (which isn’t every season of my life), it’s a nightly ritual. I personally do it in place of a castor oil pack. That’s just an example to get your mind moving. You can otherwise use any other oil of your choice, but I would be sparing when it comes to scented things, or anything with too many ingredients.

Mirror work

This is a crucial step. You want to start saying affirmations to yourself in the mirror while looking into your own eyes. The neuroscience of it, tells us that when we look into our own eyes, we are not distinguishing between ourselves or another. So those affirmations will be received as though someone else did. Except without the trouble of waiting for someone to notice you and give you what you need.

When you are kind and loving to yourself you stimulate the vagus nerve which relaxes the body and produces those feelings of safety. There is likely more we can discuss with the science behind it, but please always do your own research whether you are reading from me or someone else. In both the spiritual and psychological aspects, we are doing mirror work to reprogram the subconscious mind. You can tell yourself anything you want consciously but the reason you repeat patterns is because of your subconscious. Pretending it doesn’t exist, doesn’t make it so.

Those who enjoy my erotica, enjoy it because it is largely being written from a higher perspective. I am channelling and showing you what higher, sacred devotion looks like. What sets apart a scene of lovers from acceptable to downright electrifying, is the devotion.

Credit: Here

Typically we see desire (the want for something) paired with lust (strong sexual desire) but rarely are we seeing devotion. Devotion is defined as the love, loyalty and enthusiasm for a person or activity. Sometimes the reason the sex wasn’t otherworldly is simply because the other person wasn’t enthusiastic enough, about giving you pleasure. Sometimes it’s because you don’t even realise the levels of programming that’s underpinning your ability to relax or perform. That’s why shadow work is imperative. It can make you realise why there was a lingering smell when you thought you’d cleaned the whole house.

This is to say, if you want to inspire devotion towards you as a universal gift, you need to give it to yourself first. You have to first prove that you believe you are worthy of it. It’s all well and good for the universe to place the perfect lover in your lap but without earning them, you will disappoint and you will likely run away. Sorry I didn’t hold your hand when I said that.

Sacred Touch

You need to be devoted to healing your relationship with touching yourself. If you’re anything like me, when you work on something you want to strip it down to its bare bones. This looks like, starting to touch yourself like you’ve just met yourself for the first time. Touch even the places you don’t think are supposed to be erotic. Gently glide your fingers across, a pinch here and a lick there. Yes, you can lick yourself, who is going to stop you? You don’t have to do it in one go or in one season, but it is worth doing. For as long as you never give up, never offload that responsibility to anyone else, you will meet your desired goal. I am more than happy to let my best friend testify one day that where I started and where I am now are a far cry from one another. So if I can do it, you can do it too.

Once you’re getting in the hang of exploring by yourself, explore using other implements. Sex toys, lube…anything you might want to use with another person. Once you are feeling comfortable with all of that, you should be better able to command your body both alone or with another. You will feel less like you are performing because you are doing something you always do. You will feel less hung up on someone else’s whims to pleasure you or otherwise. Most importantly, you are healing your relationship with the self which is the most sacred relationship to honour.

For many of us who have been through sexual violence, it is important for me to acknowledge that this desensitisation we have to our own touch is our body’s defence mechanism. Our bodies may have felt violated at one or multiple points in your life and it makes one disconnect from touch as a sensation. This causes shame and a general distaste for touch. This is why it is important to go slow where self-work is concerned. You might be ready to clean out your broom closet, but it might be dustier than you originally thought. There’s nothing wrong with that, if you know going in that you may have limited capacity.

For those that aren’t scared and are willing to do plenty of research, you may want to practice sex magic. ALWAYS learn protection rituals before you delve into anything that calls itself magic. Sex magic is essentially projecting the energy of your desires during the sexual act to amplify the signal using sexual energy. Particularly the orgasm, or a little death as it is otherwise known.

The basics of sex magic are; you can focus on an image, a sigil, or a feeling as you climax and it increases its signal. Think of it like a flare into the universe. Well this one would be a fucking gigantic one. Always start small where manifesting and magic are concerned because your will is stronger than you give it credit for. Sometimes, when we don’t know the rules of the game, we end up getting royally fucked. I assume I made myself clear.

Union

You are doing yourself a disservice first and foremost, when you are not clear about what you want sexually. In my early 20’s I always enjoyed the idea of having a friends with benefits because somehow in my mind, it removed the pressure. I could express my desires easier. So I did that as practice. This is not prescriptive, but it is to say find a strategy that works for you, to be able to get those words out on the table.

A lot of us are having unsatisfying sex because we are unwilling to be super raw. Tell your girlfriend that you want to be pegged, tell your boyfriend that you want to be choked, tell her that she’s using too much teeth and tell him he’s not licking your clit. If you feel that what you like and want, are too much for the person you are with, then that tells me everything I need to know. Find the courage, first for yourself then for your partner.

Let me know if this little guide was at all helpful for steps you can take to enjoy your sensuality and your sexuality. I would be more than happy to do a part two where we discuss the esoteric side of sensuality and sexuality in greater detail. Stay full, stay sexy and always touch yourself.

Xox

Your Spiritual Midwife

[ If this actually helped you please like or comment. Dankeschön ]